Strike a balance
Whether it’s a son or daughter, friend or neighbor, or small group member, it’s difficult to know where to draw the line in a relationship with someone who is blatantly making rebellious choices. The issue is striking a balance between being a friend versus condoning sin. It will take some prayerful thinking and conversation with others to figure it out.
Address their biggest need
The principle that should drive your approach is a desire to restore that person to a right relationship with God. It’s not about being vindictive. The ultimate goal is restoring them to a right relationship with God. To be restored, their biggest need is the truth. They have probably been listening to lies. Our job is the speak the truth. That why you need to understand what God’s word says about the particular sin. You should be able to back it up from the Bible. You can’t make decisions for them, but be ready to share the truth. Try to start a conversation with them. Don’t just barrage them with scripture. Ask questions: Why are you doing this? Why do you not seem to care about God’s word?
Galatians 6:1 Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer[a] is overcome by some sin, you who are godly[b] should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.
If you’re the one who is pursuing God, then you help the other person back on the right path. Do it gently and humbly, but also with confidence in God and his truth. Hopefully their heart will be softened, and the Holy Spirit will change their mind about their behavior. But if they don’t respond to what you say, where do you then draw the line?
Where to draw the line
Wherever you draw the line, you need to draw it short of wherever it is now. In other words, their sin should have some kind of consequence in your relationship with them. It should create some kind of barrier. This helps them understand how their choices hurt their relationship with God. If their sin doesn’t affect their relationship with you, how will they feel that it hurts their relationship with God? After all, we’re still pursuing God, and they aren’t. That has to affect the relationship.
So pray about how much you pull back and in what way. Make sure you think it through and talk about it with others who also care. But you need to draw line somewhere – short of where it is now.
Discussion Questions:
- Watch the video together or invite someone to set up the conversation.
- Who comes to mind when you watch this video?
- Talk about how to identify unrepentant sin. Is that clearly what you’re dealing with here?
- Read Galatians 6:1. Have you tried to speak truth into this situation? Were you gentle at first? Did your tone change over time? Explain.
- How has your relationship with this person changed because of their sin?
- What does it mean to draw the line short of where it was before the rebellious behavior? How will you do it? How will you communicate it to the other person?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
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