Watch the video above and talk about it with a group or mentor. Learn more.
Marriage will naturally be challenging in some ways because you are completely sharing your life with another person who has their own opinions and values. This is especially true for couples who have differing spiritual views. Whether you got married knowing that you didn’t agree on spiritual things, or your spouse’s views have changed over time, there are some important things for you to remember if you want your marriage to withstand this issue.
Don’t punish your spouse for being who they’ve always been.
It’s not fair to punish your spouse for not being more spiritual, especially if that’s who they’ve always been. You likely married this person knowing if spiritual things were important to them or not. Just because you desire more from them in this area doesn’t mean they have it to give.
Be an example to your unbelieving spouse.
You can either be a great example for your spouse, that draws them to want to know more about God, or be the biggest obstacle. Don’t forget that God wants to use you as a tool to bring your spouse into a relationship with him. Don’t get in the way of that by being judgmental and critical.
1 Peter 3:1-2 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words but by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
Honor the boundaries your spouse requests.
Be honest with your spouse regarding your hopes and expectations for their involvement with spiritual matters. But, recognize and respect that they may not want to meet those expectations. Ask your spouse how they prefer you to approach them about spiritual matters in the home and find a compromise that doesn’t alienate or force your spouse into something they don’t want. But, always make sure that they feel included in whatever you do.
Pray for God to change their heart.
Ultimately, God is the one that moves in a person’s heart to want to follow Him. Pray for this to happen for your spouse. Remember, you have great influence in either encouraging or discouraging your spouse from seeking God. Don’t be a roadblock and remember that it’s ultimately God’s job to change their heart.
Ezekiel 36:26-27 And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations.
Discussion Questions:
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- Describe your spiritual journey and that of your spouse up to this point.
- How did you picture spiritual things working in your marriage while you were dating and engaged? How has that picture changed over time?
- Read 1 Peter 3:1-2. On a scale from 1-10, how well are you doing at being a good example to your spouse? Explain.
- Read Ezekiel 36:26-27. Do you pray for your spouse? What will you be praying for moving forward?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
