Watch the video above and talk about it with a group or mentor. Learn more.
We all want to be helpful to the grieving but some things are better left unsaid. Here are three things you should avoid saying to someone experiencing loss.
#1 Don’t say, “You need to get over it and move on”
This may seem obvious, but many people make the mistake of saying things like, “move on.” To the grieving, it feels like you are telling them how to grieve. Everyone experiences grief differently so everyone needs the space and time to do it their way.
#2 Don’t say, “Stay strong”
This statement really makes no sense to a person experiencing grief. They don’t want to be strong. They want their loved one back. No amount of strength can accomplish that. Just remembering to eat and getting out of bed may take all the strength they have on a given day.
#3 Don’t say, “Time will heal all wounds”
To the grieving, time is more the enemy than a helpful friend. Time just means they move farther away from their last memories with their loved one. Time may help to take the acute pain away but time will never heal the hole they feel in their heart.
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- What are some other popular sentiments people like to say to the grieving?
- Why do you think people feel the need to have something to say?
- If you are grieving a loss, what would you rather hear from people?
- If you’re walking with someone who is grieving, what might be a better approach to take?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
