Watch the video above and talk about it with a group or mentor. Learn more.
The word submission has become a bad word in our culture. Women bristle at the idea of being under the “control” of a man. But is that what God means by submission? Let’s take time to define what submission means and allow the Bible speak to God’s intention.
To submit means to yield to the will of another
At face value, you may hate this definition. Who wants to yield to another’s will? But, let’s break this definition down a bit. To “yield” means you choose to allow another to go ahead of you. Inherit in the definition, then, is a choice to defer, in this case to your husband. If you’re choosing to do something, then it’s not about weakness and control. It’s about something deeper. Your ability to submit ultimately comes from how you view God.
You should first be submitted to God’s word
Before you wrestle with if you can submit to your husband, you need to first decide if you submit to God. If you do, then you can’t pick and choose what you want to accept. God’s word clearly states that wives should submit to their husbands. It’s how God designed the family to work. It doesn’t mean women are less than and unimportant. It just means you have different roles than your husband. And, there can only be one leader. God chose the man to lead. We have to submit to that order, recognizing that God knows best.
Ephesians 5 21And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.22For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church.24As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
God calls you to submit and your husbands to love
God doesn’t just call women to something hard and challenging. Husbands are called to something much more difficult.
Ephesians 5: 25For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.
Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church, which was selfless and sacrificial. Husbands are to put their wives ahead of themselves. Now, that’s a radical call! If husbands are submitted to God in their lives then they are leading in love. Is it hard to yield to your husband if he demonstrates that your needs mean more than his own?
Don’t forget. God knows what he’s doing. He’s not in the business of creating obstacles for us just to make life hard. He has set these boundaries for us because he wants us to have healthy marriages that work in a beautiful balance- submission and love. When these are working right, you will experience great love and connection with your spouse.
Discussion Questions:
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- Describe your initial thoughts about submission. What has shaped your views up to this point?
- Review the definition of submission. What other insights can you draw from it?
- Read Ephesians 5:22-24. What are your initial thoughts to these verses? What is this passage saying about the husband’s role in the marriage?
- Read Ephesians 5:25-28. What do these verses say to husbands? What would this look like, practically, in a marriage?
- Do you agree that love and submission can work together to make a healthy marriage? Explain.
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
