The movie War Room from the creators of Fire Proof and Courageous tells the story of a young woman who learns to fight for her marriage through the power of prayer. Watch the movie for yourself and talk with a group or mentor about some of its main lessons:
Lesson #1: We need a strategy to fight for marriage.
Marriage is difficult, and it requires a strategy and tools. Most people give up too easily on their vows. In the movie, Elizabeth grew bitter as her husband Tony grew distant. There was no tenderness toward each other, and divorce was imminent. Then Elizabeth met Ms. Clara, who was willing to invest in her as a mentor. Ms. Clara challenged Elizabeth to pray for her husband, and that’s when the story changed. The movie illustrates the importance of the “trifecta” for christian living: God’s Spirit (and prayer), God’s Word (the Bible), and God’s people (mentoring).
2 Chronicles 7:14 (ESV) …if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.
Lesson #2: We need to fight the real enemy.
In most struggling marriages, husbands and wives begin to see each other as the enemy. But Satan is the one who wants to destroy marriage, and he does it by pitting husbands and wives against each other.
James 4:7 (ESV) Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Lesson #3: We need to extend grace.
The themes of grace and forgiveness permeate the movie, just as they permeate life. At one point, Ms. Clara asks Elizabeth to write down everything her husband had done wrong. Then she asked, “Does God still love him? Does he deserve grace?” It’s a rhetorical question. God extends grace to us, even though we don’t deserve it. This is at the core of a healthy marriage. Though trust is earned in the long run, love is a choice at the heart of it all.
Colossians 3:13 (NLT) Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Lesson #4: We need to pass it on.
Ms. Clara was intentional in her efforts to help Elizabeth, even though Liz wasn’t asking for help at first. Sermons don’t make disciples – people do. After Liz’s marriage was saved, Ms. Clara challenged her to pass it on and help someone else who needed it. We call this mentoring – and it’s at the heart of the Christian message.
Galatians 6:1-2 (NLT) Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- If there was one thing you could make better in your marriage, what would it be?
- Is your faith on the edge or at the center of your marriage? Draw a picture.
- What if Tony had not lost his job? How do you think the story would have changed?
- What if Tony had cheated on Liz? Should she still forgive him? Why or why not?
- On a scale of 1-10, how forgiving are you? How would you grade your spouse? Do you need to do something about it?
- Talk about how Ms Clara mentored Liz. What strategies did she use? Make a list. Can you be that person for someone else?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
