It's better to be proactive in your conflict, by using clear statements, that will lead to a productive conversation and actual solutions.
Talking Points:
- Although it may feel innocent and helpful to involve a third party, the problem is you’re involving someone who isn’t directly involved and someone who can’t fix the problem.
- It breeds distrust in the relationship when the other person involved hears that you’ve talked about them to someone else.
- It’s better to be proactive in your conflict, by using clear statements, that will lead to a productive conversation and actual solutions. Ephesians 4:29-31
- “When you did ___I felt ___.”
- “Here’s what that made me think.”
- “I’d like to hear your perspective.”
- “Here’s what we should do now.”
Discussion Questions:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Share a time you really botched a conflict with someone. What did you do wrong and who did you involve that shouldn’t have been?
- Have you ever been on the receiving end of this dynamic where you found out someone talked about you to someone else? How did that make you feel?
- Read Hebrews 12:14-15. Why does it breed distrust in a relationship when communication is indirect rather than direct?
- Read Ephesians 4:29-31. Review the four statements. Why is it important to present your frustrations in terms of your feelings? Why is it important to be vulnerable and admit how someone’s words or actions hurt you? How does understanding the other person’s perspective help to solve a conflict? Why is it important to get to solutions?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
