Triangulation is a fear response to conflict when you involve a third party rather than dealing with it directly with the person involved.
Talking Points:
- Triangulation can be best described through a picture of a triangle- you have a conflict with someone, but instead of dealing with it directly with the person involved, you involve a third party and have them intervene.
- A fear of conflict is usually the impetus for triangulation. Out of fear, you feel like it’s safer and easier to let someone else deal with it rather than facing it on your own.
- The healthier choice is to step into conflict in a loving way, owning your own stuff, and brave enough to express your hurt to the person who offended you. Matthew 18:15
Discussion Questions:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Review the definition of triangulation. Share a time you’ve been guilty of this. Why did you feel like you needed to involve someone else and how did it work out?
- On a scale from 1-10, how fearful are you of conflict (10 being petrified, 1 not at all)? What scares you the most about conflict?
- Why is it better to share your own thoughts and feelings rather than trusting someone else to do it?
- Read Matthew 18:15. Why do you think Jesus emphasized to go privately? What are some repercussions for going public with a conflict?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
