Learning how to adjust your parenting style with adult children can be a challenge. Learn a few principles that can help you to make that transition go more smoothly.

Key Points:

  • Robyn shared the importance of not changing who you are as a mom.  She decided that it was best for her to stay true to who she had always been. It was better for the family for her to be a consistent force rather than trying to change to meet the expectations of her kids.
  • Sally shared that the transition is messy. As a parent, you have been actively raising your kids for eighteen years and then your role changes suddenly. It takes time for both parents and kids to figure out what the new normal will look like.
  • Sally also mentions the importance of not comparing your situation with that of another family. Each family dynamic is different and making comparisons would be a mistake.
  • Robyn shares the importance of giving adult kids space to figure out who they are. Let them be the expert on themselves. It’s important to be prepared. Your kids will make mistakes as they figure out who they are and where they’re going. As a parent, you need to be a cheerleader and ready to help them when they fail.
  • When mistakes happen, Robyn encourages parents to keep the big picture in mind. God is working in the lives of your kids and he may use consequences to shape them for the future.
  • Sally strongly encourages parents to find a mentor, someone who is further along in the journey of parenting who can give good godly wisdom and encouragement.
Talk About It
  1. What is one insight that jumped out at you from watching the video?
  2. In your experience, what has proven to be the most challenging part of this transition for you?
  3. Why is it dangerous to try to be someone other than who you really are? Do you feel like you’ve been tempted to change to please your kids? Explain.
  4. What is the danger of playing the comparison game with other families in the same situation? What is a healthier way to be?
  5. Why is gaining perspective from other people a good idea? How could a mentor help you?
  6. Read Proverbs 3:5-6. In what ways have you been depending on your own understanding as it pertains to your adult kids? How do you need to trust God more in this time of transition?
  7. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
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