Parents often find it challenging to provide feedback to their teens without sounding critical. Is there a right way to do it?

Talking Points:

  • The Do’s:
    • Be kind but clear. Remember that your feedback is to help them grow, not to criticize or make them feel bad about themselves. Ephesians 4:29
    • Give time to process. They might not see it your way just yet, but hopefully they will later. Be patient.
    • Keep earning trust. Spend time with your teen learning what makes them tick and hearing their perspective on life.
  • The Don’ts:
    • Don’t be passive-aggressive. Veiled criticism – like couching it in joke – only makes your teen feel worse.
    • Don’t be a nag. Constant criticism makes your voice quieter, not louder. Choose your battles.
    • Don’t lecture. They’ve probably heard your message many times before. Let them own it – and maybe even let them articulate it! Proverbs 22:6
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. Share about the last time you tried to offer feedback to your teen. What went well? What didn’t go well?
  3. Read Proverbs 22:6. Identify one or two areas where your teen needs some constructive criticism. What would you like to articulate and what’s your desired outcome?
  4. Read Ephesians 4:29. Evaluate your feedback in light of this verse. How do you need to be more kind in your approach? How do you like to hear feedback from others?
  5. Does your teen trust that you have their best in mind? Explain. How can you earn more trust with them?
  6. Which of the “don’ts” are you most guilty of doing? How will you change your approach moving forward?
  7. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?