It’s easy for couples to focus on the kids and drift apart, moving from an intimate marriage to something more like a roommate relationship.
Talking Points:
- Kids are one of the main ways spouses can begin relating more like roommates. You’re so busy running your kids from activity to activity and getting caught up in the to-do list that you forget to check in with your spouse. If this pattern persists, you will feel disconnected from your spouse.
- Careers and technology can also create divides. Instead of taking time to connect, you are distracted by responsibilities at work or your Twitter feed. The danger of this is that once the kids are gone and distractions go away, suddenly you’re looking at each other feeling like strangers. There is no intimacy left.
- In order to correct this pattern, the first thing you need to do is recognize the problem. Be honest about how each of you feel about the marriage and why you feel distant and disconnected. Then, you need to remember that your marriage came first, before kids and the other distractions.
- If you want to reignite your marriage connection, you have to choose to connect. You have to make room in your schedule and room in your heart to let your spouse in again. Making your marriage a priority is a great example to show your kids of what a healthy marriage looks like. Ephesians 5:28-31
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- On a scale from 1-10, how connected do you feel to your spouse right now. Explain.
- In your opinion, what are the distractions that have pulled you apart? When did that distance begin?
- Have you been honest with your feelings up to now? Explain.
- What have you done in the past to try to connect? What worked and what didn’t?
- Read Ephesians 5:28-31. What does this passage say about how we are to love? What are some things you can start doing to connect with and love your spouse more?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
