The modern day idol of bitterness tricks us into thinking that holding onto our anger is better than freeing ourselves through the gift of forgiveness.

Talking Points:

  • Bitterness is prolonged anger toward a person who has wronged us. And, if not dealt with, it will breed hostility and resentment in our hearts.
  • Bitterness is like weeds in a garden. If we don’t pull it from its roots it will choke out the healthy stuff. Ephesians 4:31, Hebrews 12:15
  • The only way to truly uproot bitterness from our lives is through forgiveness. God didn’t choose bitterness over forgiveness. Jesus came to die for us while we were still sinners. Romans 5:6-8
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. Put yourself somewhere on the personality spectrum: At one end, the person who forgets nothing. The other end, the person who lets everything roll off their back. How has your personality helped you when you’ve been hurt or offended? How has your personality hindered you when you’ve been hurt or offended?
  3. Define bitterness in your own words. Why is bitterness such a common struggle?
  4. How have you seen bitterness destroy a person’s life and relationships?
  5. Have you ever sought the “high” of bitterness? Explain why you wanted that or how you thought that would help you?
  6. Read Hebrews 12:15. How do we allow bitterness to take root in our hearts? How does it corrupt us and our relationships?
  7. Why is forgiveness a powerful antidote to bitterness? Have you seen forgiveness heal relationships in your life? Explain.
  8. Read Romans 5:6-11. At what point did Christ die for us? Why is this distinction important to our understanding of forgiveness?
  9. How does understanding God’s gift of forgiveness change the way you view the people who have hurt you? What steps might you need to take with those people?
  10. Read Colossians 3:12-13. Identify all the qualities we should “put on” as followers of Jesus. Which of those qualities are hardest for you? Explain.
  11. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?

This is part 5 of 6 of the Cleanse women’s series.

Want More? (for further study on this topic)

Watch the videos and read the passages. Journal your thoughts and insights as you learn who God is and evaluate if he’s the only one you worship.

Day 1: More about bitterness

Watch – “How to Get Rid of Bitterness”

Read Micah 7:18-19. Rewrite verse 18 in your own words. Define the word compassion. How has God been compassionate toward you? How can you be more compassionate toward others in your life?

Read Romans 12:17-21. Think about a person you have been bitter toward. Have you done anything to create peace in that relationship? Explain. Why is revenge unhelpful? Put verse 20 in your own words. What are some practical things you could do to serve someone that has wronged you?

Memorize this verse – Romans 12:17

Day 2: More about forgiveness

Watch – “Is Forgiveness the Same as Forgetting?”

Read Colossians 3:12-13. What qualities should define us as Christians? Why do you think Paul describes these qualities as something we have to put on like clothes? What do you think it means to make allowance for someone’s faults? In what ways can you be more gracious toward those who have hurt you?

Read Ephesians 4:31-32. Why are words so powerful? Describe a time someone’s words really hurt you. Write a sentence stating that you forgive that person for their words, even if they haven’t asked for it. How have your words hurt others in your life? Prayerfully consider apologizing to those people who have been hurt by your words.

Memorize this verse – Ephesians 4:32

Day 3: Do the cleanse

Journal – Write down the people who have hurt you with whom you may have some unresolved business.

  1. Fix your eyes on Jesus. Jesus modeled a heart of forgiveness toward our great offenses to him. If we love Jesus, then we need to choose forgiveness over bitterness. (Proverbs 24:29, Colossians 3:8)
  2. Go to the Bible. Read the verses below that speak to bitterness and forgiveness. When you’re tempted to take the bitterness drug, replace those thoughts with the truth of God’s word. Remind yourself of how much God has forgiven you. (Ephesians 1:7, Micah 7:18-19, Romans 5:6-11, Colossians 3:12-13)
  3. Commit to prayer before action. When someone hurts or offends you, before you do anything else, pray. Pray for that person’s heart and pray for your heart to be protected from the root of bitterness. (Philippians 2:3-4, Matthew 5:44, James 5:16, Colossians 1:9-10)
  4. Seek wisdom and accountability. Talk to a trusted friend or mentor in your life and invite them to walk with you on this journey. Confess your idol of bitterness to others and ask them to hold you accountable. Ask them to pray for you to battle against this idol and grow in your ability to forgive. (Hebrews 10:25 Romans 12:9-13)
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