In this FLEXTALK.ORG studio conversation we asked Kenzie, Ebony, Abby and Jaime to talk about modesty in today’s world: at home, school and everywhere. Watch the videos below and use the discussion questions to empower your own great conversations with a parent, group or mentor.
#1: What Is Modesty?
Modesty is “behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency”. But what does that really mean for teen girls in today’s society? It means you honor yourself and your values in how you dress, what you say and how you interact with people.
Watch and Discuss:
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- How would you define modesty? What does the Bible say about modesty?
- What percentage of girls (or boys) is immodest in your school? Why are they immodest?
- How do girls who are modest view the immodest girls? How do guys view them?
- How many girls believe that body image is all that matters?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
#2: 6 Types of Modesty
Modesty is about not being “raunchy”. We came up with six types of modesty for girls today: (1) The way you dress. (2) The pictures you post. (3) The way you talk. (4) Who you hang out with. (5) How you date. (6) Attitudinal modesty.
Watch and Discuss:
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- Look at the 6 types of modesty above. Which one is the hardest for you? Explain.
- Who is more raunchy in their speech: girls or guys? How can gossip be raunchy?
- How can your social circle make you immodest – or at least seem immodest?
- Can a person date and still be modest? Do most girls think about boundaries when they’re dating? What about guys?
- Explain “attitudinal modesty”. On a scale of 1-10, how modest are you in your attitude?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
#3: Why and How to Be Modest
Teen girls should want to be modest for at least four reasons: (1) to honor their parents, (2) to honor other people, (3) to honor themselves, and for people of faith (4) to honor God. But how do you actually do it? The answer to that is all about setting boundaries for yourself – rather than making other people set boundaries for you.
Watch and Discuss:
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- Do your parents ever talk about modesty? What are their boundaries for you? What are some biblical boundaries?
- How is immodesty disrespectful to people around you – especially guys who are not trying to be raunchy?
- How is immodesty disrespectful to yourself, your body and your future?
- Who is responsible for setting boundaries in your life? How do you typically react to boundaries?
- What boundaries should you set for yourself in the 6 areas of modesty from Lesson 2? Make a list.
