The Survival Guide for Dads

Learn three basic principles for parenting kids so you can do more than survive....you can thrive during the parenting years!

Putting God First as a Christian Father

Most Christian dads say that God is number one, but is it really happening? Here's how to follow Parenting Principle #1, ancient advice from Abraham to Jesus.

Talking Points:

  • Parenting is like everything else in life: if you put God first, the rest of it falls into place. That’s why our first Parenting Principle is: put God first. Deuteronomy 5:7-21,33, Matthew 6:33
  • The command to obey applies to both parents and kids: parents obey God and kids obey parents. The fifth commandment (honor your parents) serves as a bridge between the “love God” and “love people” commandments. Deuteronomy 6:1-3, Ephesians 6:1-3
  • Wholehearted obedience should impact every part of our lives – both personally and as a family unit. Learn to practice spiritual disciplines like prayer, Bible reading, and family time. Deuteronomy 6:4-7
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. Did you grow up in a home with spiritual values? How have those values shaped you as a parent?
  3. How would you describe the current spiritual climate in your home?
  4. Do you currently make a habit of reading and praying on your own? How can your spiritual habits affect the rest of the family?
  5. Read Deuteronomy 6:1-3. According to this passage, what is a parent’s responsibility? Why does obedience lead to a blessed life?
  6. Read Ephesians 6:1-3. Why do you think Paul emphasizes the importance of obeying parents? How does learning to obey parents help kids to obey God as adults?
  7. Read Deuteronomy 6:4-7. Evaluate your family priorities right now. What are some practical things you can do, as a family, to pursue God together?
  8. Check out pursuegodkids.org and pursuegod.org How can utilizing topics from these sites help to facilitate productive Family Talk time?
  9. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?

How to Discipline with Love as a Dad

Today's culture says to let your kids do whatever they want. The Bible tells dads to teach their kids right from wrong... and to carefully discipline them.

Talking Points:

  • There’s an ancient parenting paradox: those who love their children care enough to discipline them. Proverbs 13:24
  • Contrary to popular opinion, there is such a thing as right and wrong. It’s the parent’s job to teach this in the home. Proverbs 22:6
  • Loving discipline turns your child’s heart toward God. First they learn to honor you; later they’ll learn to honor God. Hebrews 12:11
  • The 3 C’s of loving discipline:
    • Clear: establish clear rules and expectations and the consequences for each.
    • Consistent: follow through every time a rule is broken.
    • Corrective: consequences should deter them from making the same mistake again.
Discussion:
  1. Who disciplines more in your home: mom or dad?
  2. What messages have you heard regarding discipline in our culture? Do you tend to agree or disagree?
  3. What are some of the foolish things you see in your kids right now? How can discipline help to correct those?
  4. Describe how your kids learning to obey you (now) will help them to obey God as adults (later).
  5. Read Hebrews 12:11. What can happen if you don’t discipline your kids? How can you encourage a heart of obedience in your kids?
  6. Talk about the 3 C’s of discipline. Why is it important to be clear with your rules and expectations? What rules do you need to make clearer to your kids?
  7. What has happened in the past when you were not consistent with consequences?
  8. What consequences are most effective with each of your kids right now?
  9. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?

 

Affirming Your Kids as a Father Should

God the Father did it, and so should you. When you affirm your kids, you're setting the stage for everything else you have to do as a dad.

Talking Points:

  • God the Father spoke publicly about the Son twice in the gospel of Matthew. Both times it was to affirm him. Matthew 3:17, Matthew 17:5
  • If the perfect Son of God received words of affirmation from his Father, how much more do our imperfect kids need affirmation from their parents? Ephesians 6:4, Proverbs 16:24, Ephesians 4:32
  • Every kid – even the most challenging ones – need and deserve affirmation.
  • Remember the 3 B’s:
    • Be intentional.
    • Be authentic.
    • Be unique.
  • Use the 3 T’s of Praise:
    • Talk: use your words to speak love and praise over your kids.
    • Time: spend time with your kids and show them that they are a priority to you.
    • Touch: show affection to your kids.
Discussion:
  1. Describe the “love” climate in your home growing up (affectionate/affirming or cold/distant?) How have those family dynamics affected the way you express love to your kids?
  2. Read Matthew 3:17 and Matthew 17:5. What stands out to you about what God said? Why was it important for him to speak those words?
  3. Read Proverbs 16:24. Share a personal experience you’ve had with the power of positive words. How have you seen encouraging words impact your kids in the past?
  4. Read Ephesians 4:32. Identify the behaviors in each of your kids that frustrate you. How do you need to be more tender-hearted toward your kids in those areas?
  5. Review the 3 B’s. What does it look like for you to be intentional with affirmation moving forward? Identify three unique traits for each of your kids that you will work to affirm more.
  6. What would quality time look like with each of your kids? What will that time communicate to them?
  7. Why is affection an important part of expressing love? How do you need to improve in this area and what kind of affection do each of your kids need?
  8. Are you familiar with the 5 love languages? What would you guess is your kid’s language? How can knowing their language help you to love them more?