Any marriage is susceptible to an affair if one partner allows their heart to turn toward someone else. It usually happens over a period of time, when you’ve been struggling in your marriage, and someone else starts to meet your unmet needs. As that emotional connection grows, usually a physical connection will follow.
Fight the temptation to turn your heart away from your spouse
Marriage is and will always be challenging. You will have times in your relationship where you feel disconnected and when needs go unmet. Your spouse will irritate and disappoint you. There may be friends or coworkers of the opposite sex that seem to understand you more than your spouse. But, you have to guard your heart from turning away in those times. You have to be vigilant to NOT allow your needs to be met by someone other than your spouse.
You made promises in your vows to choose the marriage in the tough times, too
Reflect on the vows you spoke on your wedding day. You made promises to love in bad times, in sickness, financial hardship, and any other challenge until death. When you hit a rocky point in your marriage, you have to draw on those promises and remember to stay true to your spouse. Seek counseling, work on communication, practice love languages, but don’t give up on your spouse. Fight for a healthy relationship and avoid the temptation of another.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Signs of an emotional affair:
- You avoid telling your spouse how often you spend time with the other person
- You say and do things to the other person that you would not do if your spouse was present
- You arrange private time with the other person
- You share things with the other person that you haven’t shared with your spouse
- You share your marital struggles with the other person
- You ready your appearance to see the other person
- You feel a sexual attraction to the other person
Doing these things opens up “windows” of opportunity with the other person while building a wall with your spouse. Stop yourself from doing these things and keep your heart turned toward your spouse.
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- Do you know someone who has been in an emotional affair? How did it happen? How did it end?
- Have you had times in the marriage when you’ve been tempted to turn your heart away from your spouse? Explain. What were the consequences of that?
- Reflect on the vows you spoke on our wedding day. Which one(s) have been hardest to live up to thus far?
- Do you have any relationships at work or with friends that could present a problem for you? Explain.
- Do you feel like your spouse has any relationships that could present a problem for them? Explain.
- If you answered “yes” to questions 6 or 7, what will you start doing to protect yourselves from allowing that relationship to become something inappropriate?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
