The spiritual fruit of self control stands on its own in some ways. We can feign some of the other fruits in our lives, or get away with smaller amounts, but self control is impossible to fake. You either have it or you don’t. Self control touches every area of our lives: food, emotions, speech, money, entertainment, and self indulgences. Unlike the other fruits, a lack of self control can do real damage to our lives.
Proverbs 25:28 A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.
Self Control Is Inward Strength
Self control is an inward choice to live according to a code. We might call it “discipline.” It’s not that we won’t be tempted to do or to have things we shouldn’t, but self control gives us the ability to say “no” to the bad things and “yes” to the good things. It’s about ruling our feelings and not letting our feelings rule us. True self control can’t just be based on our good intentions or even our emotions. Trusting in those things will surely fail us. Real self control grows out of our relationship with Christ. That’s why it’s a fruit of the spirit.
The Fruit of Self Control Is God’s Presence at Work in Us
As we grow in our relationship with Christ, we will learn what honors and dishonors him. And, these insights into God’s character will motivate us to make choices that align with his heart. We’ll want to say “Yes” to honoring God and “No’ to the sinful pleasures.
Philippians 4:13For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
Titus 2:11-12 For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God…
Some Practical Things We Can Do to Grow Self Control
- Read God’s word to know his opinion on everything.
- Pray about the areas in which we struggle.
- Get a mentor or accountability structure.
Self control is an inward strength that comes from God which allows us to live devoted lives to him.
[External Resource: The Fruit of the Spirit – What is Self-Control?]
Discussion Questions:
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- What are some of your guilty pleasures? Why do you desire to have them?
- Read Proverbs 25:28. How has a lack of self control negatively impacted your life?
- In your opinion, why is it hard for people to exercise self control? What are some of the common excuses people make for certain indulgences?
- Read Philippians 4:13. How has God convicted your heart in the past over certain choices and how did he help you to move past them?
- Read Titus 2:11-12. According to this passage, what should motivate us to live a different way?
- How does knowing God’s word help us with self control? How could a mentor help you in the areas where you struggle?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
Adapted from the book The Fruit of the Spirit: Becoming The Person God Wants You to Be by Thomas Trask and Wayde Goodall.
