Resilient

A 5-week series on harnessing difficult emotions to build your faith.

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Resilience and the Power of Emotions

Transcript & Shownotes

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Shownotes:

The key to resilience isn’t stuffing your emotions, it’s harnessing them. Feelings aren’t sinful. They are signposts to draw us toward greater dependence on God. 

  • Truth and Lies: Emotions aren’t sinful or weak. They were created by God, and even God experiences them. 
    • The lie we believe is that feelings are bad, to be battled. But feelings aren’t sinful. They are signposts to draw us toward greater dependence on God.
      • Emotions are sinful – we need to use our heads
        • Truth: Thinking is good, but so is feeling! God created our emotions.
      • Emotions are weak – we need to stuff them
        • Truth: Emotions can lead us to a deeper experience of God
    • Even God has emotions! Examples:
      • Anger Exodus 32:9-10 (NLT) Then the LORD said, “I have seen how stubborn and rebellious these people are. Now leave me alone so my fierce anger can blaze against them, and I will destroy them. Then I will make you, Moses, into a great nation.”
        • Also, Jesus flipped over the tables
      • Grief Genesis 6:6 (NLT) So the LORD was sorry he had ever made them and put them on the earth. It broke his heart.
        • Mark 3:5 (NLT) He looked around at them angrily and was deeply saddened by their hard hearts. Then he said to the man, “Hold out your hand.” So the man held out his hand, and it was restored!
      • Joy Zephaniah 3:17 (NLT) For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”
        • John 15:11 (NLT) I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!
    • Back to the point: Emotions aren’t sinful or weak. They were created by God, and even God experiences them. 
    • How emotions can help us:
      • Anger can motivate us to be world-changers
        • William Wilberforce and other abolitionists in the 18th and 19th centuries were driven by righteous anger against the inhumanity of the transatlantic slave trade. Their advocacy and activism eventually led to the abolition of the slave trade and, later, slavery itself in the British Empire.
        • Sophie Scholl, along with her brother Hans and other members of the White Rose resistance group in Nazi Germany, expressed righteous anger against the atrocities committed by the Nazi regime. They distributed leaflets denouncing the regime’s crimes and were eventually executed for their courageous resistance.
      • Fear can awaken us to a spiritual reality
      • Shame can lead us to experience grace
        • For some, shame and guilt for their past actions
        • For others, shame for what someone has done to you
      • Grief can open us up to the ultimate Comforter
    • We’ll be talking about all of this over the next five weeks…
  • Guard your heart: Our hearts determine the course of our lives, and that includes our mind, will, and emotions. 
    • Here’s the verse that we’ll lean on throughout this series:
      • Proverbs 4:23 (NLT) Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
    • We need to understand what the “Heart” is in the OT and how it relates to our emotional lives… and resilience (See The Meaning of “Heart” in Hebrew)
      • In biblical Hebrew, the heart is best understood as the “inner person” – the seat of our mind (thoughts), emotions (feelings), and will (intentions). Psalm 37:4, Proverbs 4:23, James 1:14-15
      • What this means: it’s all connected! Our thoughts, feelings, and intentions are woven together by God’s design
        • So again, emotions aren’t bad intrinsically. They’re neutral
      • Back to the verse
        • Guard your heart – protect it, pay attention to it, learn about it
          • Don’t stuff it
          • Don’t rationalize
        • This includes your emotions
          • Because it’s all connected
          • How you feel affects how you think, and vice versa
  • Defining “Resilient”
    • Definition (Oxford): the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.
      • Bouncing back
      • Reacting in a healthy way to our trials
        • And we will have them
    • Our definition: Resilience is harnessing difficult emotions to build your faith.
      • Remember: Satan wants to manipulate them to destroy our faith
        • So many people experience difficult emotions and then bail on God
          • Anger
          • Fear
          • Shame
          • Grief
        • Comes from a misunderstanding of emotions and life
          • We will have difficulty in life
          • We can sit with the attending emotion
            • harness them
            • Learn from them
          • THAT is resilience
  • Close
    • One more thing:
      • This isn’t just a self-help series for the secular world
      • It’s a pointer every week to the only One who can truly help us.
    • The bad news in the Bible is that our hearts (our inner selves) are fundamentally broken because of sin. The good news is that God can change our hearts in an instant – the moment we place our faith in Jesus.
      • Jeremiah 17:9 (NLT) “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?”
        • Self-deception
        • So easy to be the victim
      • Ezekiel 36:26 (NLT) And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.
        • This includes redeeming our emotions
Talking Points:
  • The key to resilience isn’t stuffing your emotions, it’s harnessing them. Feelings aren’t sinful. They are signposts to draw us toward greater dependence on God.
  • Emotions aren’t sinful or weak. They were created by God, and even God experiences them. Exodus 32:9-10, Mark 3:5
  • Our hearts determine the course of our lives, and that includes our mind, will, and emotions. Our thoughts, feelings, and intentions are woven together by God’s design. Proverbs 4:23
  • Many people experience difficult emotions and then bail on God. Resilience is harnessing difficult emotions to build your faith. 
  • The bad news in the Bible is that our hearts (our inner selves) are fundamentally broken because of sin. The good news is that God can change our hearts in an instant – the moment we place our faith in Jesus. Jeremiah 17:9, Ezekiel 36:26
Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. Have you ever found yourself trying to suppress your emotions rather than acknowledging them as part of your faith journey? Give an example.
  3. The Bible points out that even God experiences emotions. How is it different from how we experience emotions? How is it the same?
  4. Proverbs 4:23 suggests that our hearts influence the course of our lives. How do you see the interconnectedness of thoughts, feelings, and intentions in your own life? Give an example.
  5. Give an example of when someone bailed on God because of anger, fear, shame, or grief. Has it ever happened (or almost happened) with you?
  6. The Bible highlights the brokenness of our hearts due to sin (Jeremiah 17:9) but also promises transformation through faith in Jesus (Ezekiel 36:26). How have you experienced this transformation in your life, and how does it influence the way you navigate your emotions?

See Also:

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How To Harness Your Anger for Good

Transcript & Shownotes

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Shownotes:

Resilience is often associated with suppressing emotions, but the key lies in harnessing them for good. Emotions serve as signposts guiding us toward a greater dependence on God. Anger is often the superficial emotion covering over a deeper, less acceptable emotion.

Three Biblical Examples:

Cain’s Anger

Genesis 4:3-5 (NLT) When it was time for the harvest, Cain presented some of his crops as a gift to the LORD. Abel also brought a gift—the best portions of the firstborn lambs from his flock. The LORD accepted Abel and his gift, but he did not accept Cain and his gift. This made Cain very angry, and he looked dejected.

Genesis 4:6-7 (NLT) “Why are you so angry?” the LORD asked Cain. “Why do you look so dejected? You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.”

Genesis 4:8 (NLT) One day Cain suggested to his brother, “Let’s go out into the fields.” And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother, Abel, and killed him.

Cain’s anger stemmed from God’s rejection of his offering. Digging deeper, the underlying emotion was dejection, fueled by insecurity and comparison. Substitute anger, a false sense of control, led Cain to a loss of emotional, relational, and spiritual control. The story concludes tragically, with Cain’s anger leading to the murder of his brother Abel, showcasing the destructive power of unchecked emotions.

Moses’ Anger

Numbers 20:1-2 (NLT) In the first month of the year, the whole community of Israel arrived in the wilderness of Zin and camped at Kadesh. While they were there, Miriam died and was buried. There was no water for the people to drink at that place, so they rebelled against Moses and Aaron.

Numbers 20:8 (NLT) “You and Aaron must take the staff and assemble the entire community. As the people watch, speak to the rock over there, and it will pour out its water. You will provide enough water from the rock to satisfy the whole community and their livestock.”

Numbers 20:10-11 (NLT) Then he and Aaron summoned the people to come and gather at the rock. “Listen, you rebels!” he shouted. “Must we bring you water from this rock?” Then Moses raised his hand and struck the rock twice with the staff, and water gushed out. So the entire community and their livestock drank their fill.

Numbers 20:12 (NLT) But the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!”

Moses’ frustration boiled over due to the Israelites’ continuous complaints. God instructed him to speak to a rock for water, testing his obedience, trust, and self-control. Moses, overwhelmed by frustration, struck the rock twice instead. Despite God’s grace allowing water to flow, there were consequences. Moses was denied entry into the Promised Land, emphasizing the cost of unresolved anger on one’s journey to resilience.

Jesus’ Anger

Matthew 21:12-13 (NLT) Jesus entered the Temple and began to drive out all the people buying and selling animals for sacrifice. He knocked over the tables of the money changers and the chairs of those selling doves. He said to them, “The Scriptures declare, ‘My Temple will be called a house of prayer,’ but you have turned it into a den of thieves!”

Matthew 21:14-15 (NLT) The blind and the lame came to him in the Temple, and he healed them. The leading priests and the teachers of religious law saw these wonderful miracles and heard even the children in the Temple shouting, “Praise God for the Son of David.” But the leaders were indignant.

Jesus displayed righteous anger, driving out those who defiled the temple. However, instead of dwelling on anger, Jesus immediately turned to positive actions, healing the blind and lame. This righteous anger led to declarations of faith but also stirred resentment in the religious leaders. Their unresilient anger ultimately led to Jesus’ crucifixion. The lesson here is to harness anger for good by cultivating a prayer life, taking positive action, admitting vulnerability, and releasing grievances to God.

Talking Points:
  • Anger is often the superficial emotion covering over a deeper, less acceptable emotion. For Cain, God’s rejection of his gift was depressing enough to cause him to murder. Genesis 4:3-8
  • Anger can also boil over from unresolved frustration. For Moses, this is what happened on his way to the Promised Land. Numbers 20:10-11
  • Human anger is usually tainted by sin, but it is possible to harness our anger for righteousness. Jesus shows us what this looks like. Ephesians 4:26-27
  • How can you harness anger for good?
    • Get a prayer life (like Jesus). Don’t react, bring it to God first.
    • Take action for good (if possible). 
    • Be willing to be wrong (or wronged).
Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. How is your anger typically expressed? How has that created trouble for you in the past?
  3. Read Genesis 4:3-8. Review the story of Cain and Abel. Identify the emotions you think Cain felt? What has anger killed off in your life?
  4. Read Numbers 20:1-12. Why was Moses likely low on patience in this story? What were his consequences for loosing his cool?
  5. Read James 1:20-21. Which “Promised Land” are you missing out on because of anger?
  6. Read Matthew 21:12-15. How would you define righteous anger? How did Jesus’ righteous anger benefit others? What can we learn from Jesus’ example?
  7. Review the steps for harnessing anger. What’s the benefit to pausing and praying before anything else? How has God changed your heart when you’ve gone to Him first in the past?
  8. What does it mean that we need to be willing to be wrong and to be wronged? What does it look like to release grievances to God?

See Also:

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Harnessing Your Fear to Build Your Faith

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Fear, a complex and universal emotion, can take various forms and be triggered by different stimuli. In this topic, we will draw inspiration from the biblical account of Jehoshaphat to understand how to overcome fear to build our faith.

Seven Common Types of Fear:

  1. Fear of Failure: Anxiety about not meeting expectations or failing in a task.
  2. Fear of the Unknown: Apprehension about unpredictable future events or outcomes.
  3. Fear of Change: Apprehension about what the future holds.
  4. Fear of Pain: Anxiety about experiencing pain or injury.
  5. Fear of Loss: Anxiety about the potential loss of close relationships or material possessions.
  6. Social Fear: Fear of rejection, judgment, and public speaking.
  7. Existential Fear: Fear of death and meaninglessness, considered the ultimate fear.

Jehoshaphat’s Experience:

2 Chronicles 20:1 (NLT) After this, the armies of the Moabites, Ammonites, and some of the Meunites declared war on Jehoshaphat.

2 Chronicles 17:6 (NLT) He was deeply committed to the ways of the LORD. He removed the pagan shrines and Asherah poles from Judah.

2 Chronicles 17:7-9 (NLT) In the third year of his reign Jehoshaphat sent his officials to teach in all the towns of Judah. …. They took copies of the Book of the Law of the LORD and traveled around through all the towns of Judah, teaching the people.

Defining Fear (Anxiety): Before delving into Jehoshaphat’s story, it’s crucial to define fear. Fear is an emotion caused by the brain’s reaction to situations, not the situations themselves. Fear can be a protective mechanism, such as when encountering real dangers like facing a bear in Alaska. However, it can also serve evil by hindering trust in God, ultimately affecting our faith.

Jehoshaphat’s Three-Part Plan for Overcoming Fear:

  1. Admit Fear: Jehoshaphat openly admitted his fear, putting it on the table for examination.
  2. Turn to God: In times of fear, Jehoshaphat turned to God, acknowledging his dependence on a higher power.
  3. Start a Fast: Jehoshaphat initiated a fast, a deliberate act of seeking divine guidance through self-discipline and devotion.

Jehoshaphat’s reliance on God led to divine intervention. The Lord assured him that the battle was not his but God’s. As Jehoshaphat and his people praised and thanked the Lord, the enemy armies turned against each other, resulting in victory and the naming of the Valley of Blessing.

In times of fear, the lessons from Jehoshaphat’s journey serve as a timeless guide to overcoming adversity and finding victory through faith.

Talking Points:
  • Resilience is harnessing difficult emotions to build your faith. Today we talk about how to harness fear and anxiety, and we’ll look at the incredible story of King Jehoshaphat. 2 Chronicles 20:1-4
  • Fear is a complex emotion that can manifest in various forms: fear of failure, the unknown, change, pain, loss, rejection, death, and more. Everyone experiences fear at some point in life.
  • Fear is an emotion caused by the brain’s reaction to situations, not the situations themselves. Fear can be a good thing, but it can also become paralyzing and harmful.
  • Jehoshaphat modeled a 3-step plan for overcoming fear: admit you’re afraid, turn to God, and start a fast. In the end, the place of fear turned into a “Valley of Blessing”. 2 Chronicles 20:20-26
Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)? 
  2. Fear comes in many shapes and sizes, from the fear of failure to the fear of death. Which type of fear do you experience most often?
  3. We all have our unique ways of dealing with fear. If fear were a guest at your dinner table, how would you serve it? In other words, how do you typically handle fear when it shows up in your life?
  4. Have you ever had a moment when fear felt overwhelming, and you had to admit to yourself that you were afraid? How did that self-awareness change your perspective or approach to the situation?
  5. King Jehoshaphat turned to God first, not last. Where do you typically turn first when you’re afraid or anxious? How long does it take you to turn to God, and what does that look like?
  6. Jehoshaphat’s “Valley of Blessing” is such a powerful image. Can you recall a time when facing a fear or difficult situation led to unexpected positive outcomes in your life? How did that experience shape your perspective on challenges?

See Also:

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How To Come Back From the Burden of Shame

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Today we’ll talk about how to overcome your shameful past to experience the freedom we can have in Christ. We’ll look at David’s example in the story of Bathsheba and Uriah.

2 Samuel 11:1-4 In the spring of the year,[a] when kings normally go out to war, David sent Joab and the Israelite army to fight the Ammonites. They destroyed the Ammonite army and laid siege to the city of Rabbah. However, David stayed behind in Jerusalem.Late one afternoon, after his midday rest, David got out of bed and was walking on the roof of the palace. As he looked out over the city, he noticed a woman of unusual beauty taking a bath. He sent someone to find out who she was, and he was told, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” Then David sent messengers to get her; and when she came to the palace, he slept with her. She had just completed the purification rites after having her menstrual period. Then she returned home.

2 Samuel 12:1-7 So the Lord sent Nathan the prophet to tell David this story: “There were two men in a certain town. One was rich, and one was poor. The rich man owned a great many sheep and cattle. The poor man owned nothing but one little lamb he had bought. He raised that little lamb, and it grew up with his children. It ate from the man’s own plate and drank from his cup. He cuddled it in his arms like a baby daughter. One day a guest arrived at the home of the rich man. But instead of killing an animal from his own flock or herd, he took the poor man’s lamb and killed it and prepared it for his guest.”David was furious. “As surely as the Lord lives,” he vowed, “any man who would do such a thing deserves to die! He must repay four lambs to the poor man for the one he stole and for having no pity.”Then Nathan said to David, “You are that man! The Lord, the God of Israel, says: I anointed you king of Israel and saved you from the power of Saul.

The world delights in bold sinners who flout God’s Word and expect no punishment whatsoever. That’s called “shamelessness,” and it’s nothing new.

Romans 1:24-32

So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. 25 They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. 26 That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. 27 And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.28 Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. 29 Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. 30 They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. 31 They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy. 32 They know God’s justice requires that those who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too.

On the other end of the spectrum is “shamefulness” – getting stuck in your guilt and either living there or trying to work your way out of it with your good behavior. This is also bad. 

David is an example of a person who could have gotten stuck in his shameful behavior. Instead he took God at his word and moved on in life to experience peace.

Psalm 51:1-3,9-10 Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt.10 Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.

Shame is only good when it leads us to Christ. He took our shame on the cross and set us free from condemnation.

Romans 7:24-8:1 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.

Talking Points:
  • Today we’ll talk about how to overcome your shameful past to experience the freedom we can have in Christ. We’ll look at David’s example in the story of Bathsheba and Uriah. 2 Samuel 11:1-4, 2 Samuel 12:1-7
  • The world delights in bold sinners who flout God’s Word and expect no punishment whatsoever. That’s called “shamelessness,” and it’s nothing new. Romans 1:24-32
  • On the other end of the spectrum is “shamefulness” – getting stuck in your guilt and either living there or trying to work your way out of it with your good behavior. This is also bad. 
  • David is an example of a person who could have gotten stuck in his shameful behavior. Instead he took God at his word and moved on in life to experience peace. Psalm 51:1-3,9-10
  • Shame is only good when it leads us to Christ. He took our shame on the cross and set us free from condemnation. Romans 7:24-8:1
Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. Share some examples of “shamelessness” in today’s world. Make a list.
  3. Have you ever gotten stuck in guilt? If so, which failing strategy did you try: moving toward shamelessness or trying to “take by force what can only be obtained by grace”? Explain. 
  4. Summarize the story of David and Bathsheba. How do you think David managed to move past his shameful past?
  5. Read Romans 8:1. What does it mean that there is “no condemnation” for Christians? Does it apply to non-Christians?
  6. What’s the difference between condemnation and conviction? Does freedom from guilt mean we can do whatever we want? Explain.

See Also:

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Harnessing Your Grief

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Today we’ll talk about Three Types of Grief – and how to harness it for good

  • First a theological note: Grief was not a part of Eden and it won’t be a part of Heaven. 
    • Revelation 21:4 (NLT) He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.
  • It is a result of the fall, and sin lies at the root of it. Because humanity has rejected God’s ways, the conditions of loss exist at the heart of the human experience. 
    • But there is a good side. That’s what we’ll talk about in each of these three types of grief…

“Victim” grief is sorrow because of someone’s deep sin against you.

  • Some of you have experienced deep relational wounds
    • False accusations 
    • It’s real grief, and you’ll hit some stages – first anger, then deep sadness, ultimately a desire to pull away
    • That’s how you know it’s bad: isolation
      • Pull away from people (enemy wants this)
      • Pull away from God (opposite of resilient)
        • Genesis 3:8-9 (NLT) When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the LORD God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the LORD God among the trees. Then the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”
  • Q. How can this possibly be good?
    • It can open you up to deeper relationships. God gives us people to support us in our sadness. When you want to isolate yourself, force yourself to engage with others. 
      • Romans 12:15 (NLT) Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.
    • It can open you up to a deeper relationship with God. God can use sorrow to develop greater dependence on him. 
      • Psalms 73:21, 23 Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside…. Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand.

“Guilt” grief is sorrow over your own sin. (see last week)

  • Selfish life patterns or self-centered goals. Loving the wrong things in life. Making bad choices. Peter is an example: 
    • Matthew 26:75 (NLT) Suddenly, Jesus’ words flashed through Peter’s mind: “Before the rooster crows, you will deny three times that you even know me.” And he went away, weeping bitterly.
    • Have you been there?
  • Q. How can this possibly be good?
    • God can use guilt grief to purify what we value. It can cause you to evaluate what things really matter enough to truly be mourned.
    • 2 Corinthians 7:10 (NLT) For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.
      • Two kinds of sorrow (grief) there:
        • Worldly sorrow (lacks repentance)
        • Godly sorrow
    • God can use sadness to enlarge our souls. Sorrow can make you a deeper, wiser person. Until you’ve experienced affliction, you’ll have a superficial view of life. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
  • CS Lewis: “God whispers to us in our pleasure but he shouts to us in our pain.”

“Bereavement” is grief over the loss of a loved one, and even Jesus experienced it.

  • Death is bad, not part of God’s original plan
  • John 11:33, 38 (NLT) When Jesus saw Mary weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled…. Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb…
    • Jesus was angry at death – it wasn’t right. 
    • Second stage of grief
  • Q. How can this possibly be good?
    • Sorrow can be good when God uses our sadness to help others with their sorrow. Sorrow can make you more compassionate. We can show empathy and care for others because we can relate to their pain. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
      • Example: Joanne Smith
    • Grief can draw us closer to Jesus
      • Psalms 34:18 (NLT) The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
      • Isaiah 53:3-4 (NLT) He was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief…. Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down.
    • Sorrow points us to the ultimate hope
      • 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 (NLT) And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died.

As with every other difficult emotion, harnessing grief is only possible for those who have trusted Jesus for salvation. He gives us new, resilient hearts.

  • Proverbs 4:23 (NLT) Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
  • Jeremiah 17:9 (NLT) “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?”
  • Ezekiel 36:26 (NLT) And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.
Talking Points:
  • Grief was not a part of Eden and it won’t be a part of Heaven. It is a result of the fall, but there is a good side. Revelation 21:4
  • “Victim” grief is sorrow because of someone’s deep relational sin against you. You’ll be tempted to isolate because of this, but God can use it to draw you into healing community. Psalm 73:21-23
  • “Guilt” grief is sorrow over your own sin. This is good when it’s “godly sorrow” – the kind that leads you to true repentance. Matthew 26:75, 2 Corinthians 7:10
  • “Bereavement” is grief over the loss of a loved one, and even Jesus experienced it. This sorrow can make us more compassionate, draw us closer to Jesus, and point us to our ultimate hope in heaven. Psalm 34:18, 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14
  • As with every other difficult emotion, harnessing grief is only possible for those who have trusted Jesus for salvation. He gives us new, resilient hearts. Proverbs 4:23, Ezekiel 36:26
Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. What does it mean that grief “is a result of the fall”? Do you think heaven will be less interesting without grief? Explain.
  3. Think of a time when someone’s sin against you made you deeply sad. Were you tempted to isolate yourself from others? Who helped pull you out of it?
  4. Read 2 Corinthians 7:10. What’s the difference between “worldly sorrow” and “godly sorrow”? Have you ever experienced them? Explain.
  5. List the three ways bereavement can be harnessed for good. Have you experienced any of these?
  6. “Harnessing grief is only possible for those who have trusted Jesus for salvation.” Why is this true? Have you trusted Jesus for salvation? Learn more

See Also: