Parenting in a Sexualized Culture
Sexual purity starts with the right mindset. It isn't about working hard to be pure but rather pursuing purity through a vibrant relationship with Jesus.
Talking Points:
- Kids are exposed to over 14,000 sexualized messages a year. It is an epidemic and parents need to engage in this battle.
- Purity is as an ongoing pursuit of making the right decisions every day to honor God. It’s a relationship, not an accomplishment. 1 John 3:2-3
- God does not call us to stay pure, but to pursue purity. And, it doesn’t end once we’re married. Matthew 5:27-28
- Purity is the work of God working in us. We aren’t in the battle alone. Christ in us gives us the strength to avoid temptation.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Does that statistic of 14,000 images shock you? Explain. Do you know what your kids are viewing on their phones or online?
- What has your definition of purity looked like up to now? Have you ever felt like you failed at purity? Explain.
- Why is it important to understand that purity is an ongoing pursuit throughout life rather than just a one-time accomplishment?
- Read Matthew 5:27-28.What safeguards do you have in place for yourself to protect your marriage? What more might you both need to do?
- Read 1 John 3:2-3. How do you feel about the statement “It is not about staying pure, it is about Christ purifying me”? How can that concept help us explain purity as a relationship to our children?
- Read Romans 3:23-24. How does this verse explain that purity is a pursuit that is only possible through our relationship with God?
- How can you invite your children into the pursuit of purity?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
The 4 P’s of Biblical Sex
Sex is about pleasure, procreation, protection and a proclamation. Teach your kids all of the P's so they have the right picture of what sex is and what it isn't.
Talking Points:
- Many parents wonder how they’re supposed to broach the subject of sex with their kids. The key is not to be afraid of it. Your kids will learn about sex one way or another, so it might as well be from you.
- There are 4 P’s to God’s design for sex:
- Pleasure. God created sex for our pleasure. It’s okay to tell your kids that sex is fun and enjoyable.
- Procreation. Sex is for making babies but sex is also about creating new life. When a husband and wife marry and have sex, they are joined as one. A new creation is born in this context as well.
- Protection. The sexual union protects couples from outside temptations. Couples shouldn’t deprive each other of sex so not to be tempted to seek it from someone else. 1 Corinthians 7:5
- Proclamation. The sexual union between married couples tells a bigger story. It reminds us that God created us with a plan and a desire for pleasure. And, marriage is a reflection of how Christ loves his Church.
Discussion:
- What is your initial reaction to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- How was sex discussed or portrayed in your home growing up? What was helpful? What was confusing?
- Do you know what messages your kids have already received about sex? Explain. How could you find out what they know already?
- What makes you the feel the most uncomfortable about broaching the sex talk with your kids?
- Review the 4 P’s. How could incorporating these things help you to have a conversation with your kids?
- Read 1 Corinthians 7:5. How healthy is your sexual relationship with your spouse right now? How can it improve?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
Be This When You Talk To Your Kids About Purity
A successful conversation with your kids about purity requires intentionality, being a good story teller and being vulnerable.
Talking Points:
- Parents, create a conversational culture in your home so that you can have meaningful discussions about the stuff that matters-like sex.
- The “sex talk” shouldn’t be a one time deal. It should be an ongoing conversation that changes as your kids mature.
- Three things that will help your conversation:
- Be intentional. Be the person they feel comfortable coming to when they have questions or concerns about sex or anything else.
- Be persuasive. Tell a better story than what our culture says about sex. Don’t be afraid to talk about how God designed sex to be fun and meant for a husband and wife.
- Be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to share some of your own story. Your kids can learn a lot from hearing about what you learned from your mistakes.
Discussion:
- What is your initial reaction to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- On a scale from 1-10, how often do you talk about meaningful things as a family? How can you carve out more time in your family schedule to have intentional talks?
- Why is a one time sex talk not enough? Why will the conversation change as your kids get older?
- Would your kids say you are approachable? Explain. How can you create a safer environment for your kids to talk to you about more personal things?
- Read Proverbs 5:15-19. God designed sex for our delight and pleasure. How can you model a healthy view of sex in your home?
- Read 1 John 1:5-7. What part of your own story are you willing to share with your kids? How will you encourage them to share with you if and when they mess up?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
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