New Marriage, Same Couple

Learn the four secrets to overcoming infidelity and rebuilding your marriage. Based on the book by Josh and Katie Walters.

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PursueGOD is a podcast-based discipleship library. Here's how to use our resources with your family, small group, or one-on-one mentoring relationship:

  1. Pick a series from our homepage. There's plenty to choose from!
  2. Each series contains multiple lessons. Click on the numbered tabs to open each lesson.
  3. Each lesson includes an audio podcast. Start by listening to the podcast on your own, before you meet as a group. Take notes as needed, and listen again if it helps. Consider starting a discipleship journal to track what you're learning.
  4. Meet with your family, group, or mentor to talk through what you learned from the podcast. Each lesson includes shownotes, talking points, and discussion questions. Click on the # tab to explore additional topics when you're done.
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Talking Points:
  • In this series we’ll learn the four secrets to overcoming infidelity and rebuilding your marriage. Based on the book by Josh and Katie Walters.
  • To overcome infidelity and rebuild your marriage, start with yourself and take responsibility for your actions and emotions.
  • Choose a posture of love and humility in your marriage, focusing on the good in your spouse rather than dwelling on their faults.
  • Practice confession therapy by bringing your hidden thoughts, desires, and emotions to the light, fostering intimacy and healing in your relationship.
  • Utilize resources like workbooks and process the content with your spouse or a trusted couple to personalize and deepen your understanding.

Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. How does the concept of “starting with yourself” resonate with you in the context of repairing relationships? Share a time when you’ve done it… or failed to do it.
  3. Have you ever experienced a moment where forgiveness significantly changed a relationship dynamic? How did it unfold?
  4. Confession therapy might seem unconventional to some—can you imagine a scenario where it could create a breakthrough in a relationship?
  5. Let’s dive into worship music: What’s a song that has unexpectedly strengthened your marriage, and how did it do so?
  6. How do you personally approach the idea of taking quitting off the table in a relationship, and what strategies might you use to reinforce that commitment?
  7. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
Talking Points:
  • In order for reconciliation to be possible, you have to fight the thoughts that tell you to leave or give up. Those have to be replaced with thoughts of fighting for something new. 
  • It takes endurance to fight for breakthrough. The enemy will try to convince you to be hopeless but if you keep your feet planted in Jesus (and in the marriage), miracles can happen!
  • You’re not trying to get back to where you were but rather to a new place, a new relationship with Christ at the center. 
  • In order to build a new foundation you have to do the next right thing; paying attention to habits, triggers and rewards.

Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. What are some of the thoughts you’ve been fighting regarding your marriage? How have those thoughts brought distance with your spouse?
  3. How would you rate your endurance in life? Provide some examples. What does it look like to let your spouse have your feet but not yet your heart? Why is commitment an important element to reconciliation?
  4. What are some of the dynamics you don’t want to repeat moving forward? What does a “new place” in your marriage look like for you?
  5. “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing”. What does this statement mean to you?
  6. What are some new habits you need to introduce to rebuild? What are some triggers that might derail your growth?
  7. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
Talking Points:
  • A key ingredient to a new marriage is allowing others to be a part of your story, choosing vulnerability and openness rather than hiding and pretending.
  • Learning from the wisdom and experience of others can give you new insights breaking the old cycle of thinking.
  • The grace of God covers your past mistakes breaking the shame cycle leading you to freedom!

Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. How has community blessed you in your life? How did it help you grow as a person?
  3. How have you hidden your struggles up to now? What are you most afraid of in being honest with others?
  4. Share how some words of wisdom has impacted you in the past? Who are some people who could be helpful to you now?
  5.  Why is there healing when we confess our struggles to God and others? How have you experienced God’s healing grace in the past? What do you need to lay at His feet today to walk in freedom?
  6. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
Talking Points:
  • Vision gives you direction and a destination to strive for encouraging you to be purposeful and focused.
  • God wants to rewrite your story bringing new things that are better than you can even imagine! 

Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. What tends to happen when you don’t have a vision for something?
  3. What is your vision for your marriage and family? What are some goals you need to set to get there?
  4. What are some obstacles or distractions you need to remove in order to build toward a new thing?
  5. How have you seen God do miracles in your life in the past? How do you need to trust in Him more right now?
  6. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
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