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Fewer behaviors are more universal than gossip. For some people, gossip has become so entwined with their life that it’s like food to them (Proverbs 18:8). People do it for all sorts of reasons. Some people aren’t good conversationalists without gossip, others use it to deflect from their own shortcomings, and others, still, get a feeling of superiority from having secret or “inside” information. The worst kind of gossip destroys other people for selfish gain.
No matter the reason, for Christians, gossip is unacceptable. In fact, it’s sin (Romans 1:29-32).
Gossip Hurts More People Than You Think
Gossip hurts people regardless of how innocent the intent of the gossiper. If nothing else, it hurts the person being gossiped about. It can even cause rifts in relationships (Proverbs 16:28).
Gossip also hurts the person who’s hearing it (Proverbs 17:4). It can damage their view of the person being talked about, and it can encourage them to think that gossip is no big deal. Causing others to stumble in their pursuit of God will bring judgment onto us (Matthew 18:6) especially if we are supposed to be more mature in our faith (Luke 12:47-48). We shouldn’t be setting bad examples for other Christians.
Gossip hurts the person who is doing the gossiping. We’ve probably all known a “gossip” at work, school, or even church. That person’s reputation tends to precede them – and not in a good way (Proverbs 25:9-10).
Only You Can Shut Down Gossip
If you want to shut down gossip in your circles, here are three simple steps that will help you get on the right track.
First, guard your ears. If someone gossips to you, the easiest way to nip it in the bud is by refusing to listen. You can encourage the gossiper to stop, and if they won’t, you can remove yourself from the situation. A great question to ask a gossiper is, “Why are you telling me this?” This will expose their true motive and hopefully make them realize that they shouldn’t be gossiping. You can also try counteracting the gossip by sharing good or encouraging things about the person being gossiped. If that doesn’t work, you might just need to step away.
Second, shut your mouth (Proverbs 21:23)! Gossip can happen anywhere: at school, at a lunch or coffee meeting, or even at church or small group meetings. Husbands and wives can gossip with each other about people they interact with daily! Think about the ways you yourself might gossip, and be intentional about shutting yourself down.
Third, open your heart. We all gossip for different reasons. What are your reasons? What are the reasons of people you know? Something’s lacking, and we each need to get to the heart of the matter. Find out what voids you’re trying to fill with gossip. Instead, fill them with Jesus Christ. Let Jesus fill you with significance and importance. Invite Jesus to change your priorities and to change you from the inside-out.
- What is your initial reaction to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Share a time when someone gossiped about you and how it made you feel.
- Read Proverbs 18:8 and share why you think gossip is so enjoyable.
- Read Proverbs 16:28 and share all the ways that gossip hurts relationships.
- Share your ideas about Craig Groeschel’s quote, “What you permit, you promote.”
- Share some reasons why you think people gossip.
- Explain why you think the question,“Why are you telling me this?” is so powerful in stopping gossip.
- Why do you think Proverbs 20:19 tells us to avoid people who gossip?
- Read Proverbs 21:23 and share why you think that God tells us to shut our mouths and not gossip.
- Read Zephaniah 3:17 and answer the question, “How do you find approval, love, and acceptance in a way that doesn’t hurt so many people?”
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
This is part of the My Big Fat Mouth series. Click here for sermon resources.
