Watch the video above and talk about it with a group or mentor. Learn more.
From the time we are born, we are eager to retaliate and take what’s ours when the opportunity presents itself. When someone wrongs us, our first reaction is to get even. Jesus teaches a different message.
Matthew 5:38-41 You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also. If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too. If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles.
While Jesus acknowledges the old laws set in place, he expands on that mentality to give us examples of what selflessness truly looks like. It is our first response to harm those who cause us pain. By refraining from this, however, we begin to understand what real love looks like. Take a look at how this applies to marriage.
Don’t Respond to Negative Attitudes
There’s always the chance that you or your spouse have had a bad day. Everyone has countless things going on in their lives, and when you’re married to someone, it is possible that your spouse may take that negative energy and direct it toward you. Instead of yelling back, being passive aggressive, or even responding in bitterness, talk it out when they have calmed down. Explain, in a loving way, how it makes you feel when they act that way.
Choose to Be Productive in Conflict
While it is tempting to shove conflict under the rug for a later time, or even retaliate as discussed above, it is not productive or healthy. Deal with conflict in a loving way. This creates an opportunity for communication to strengthen and you and your spouse to become closer.
Jesus is not interested in the old ways of dealing with hurt. He teaches love, without exception. It is a daily choice in marriage to be kind, sacrificial, and understanding. By applying this to your marriage, you can grow together in a love that mirrors the way Jesus loves us.
Discussion Questions:
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- Share a time when someone retaliated against you. Why did they do it? Have you ever done it? Explain.
- Read Matthew 5:38-41. What is your gut reaction to these verses? Do you think it’s easier to live this out in marriage or in other relationships in your life? Explain.
- On a scale from 1-10, how often do you react to your spouse’s mood in a negative way? Do you tend to play games with each other rather than expressing yourselves in an honest way? Explain.
- List some practical ways to be unselfish and sacrificial toward your spouse. Do you think you can do this? Why or why not?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
