On the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus used provocative words to grab the attention of his audience. He wanted to challenge the religious elites who thought they knew all the right answers. They were experts on the letter of the law but they were clueless to the spirit of the law. Jesus challenged the attitude of the Pharisees and he used the issue of divorce to do it.
Matthew 5:31-32 “You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.
Following the law doesn’t mean your heart is right
This was Jesus’ point. He knew his audience was filled with religious people who could tell you exactly what the Old Testament law allowed for regarding divorce. The law said that divorce was permissible so long as the husband had a written letter declaring that he no longer wanted to be married. This is why divorce had become common practice in the Jewish culture. It was very easy. But Jesus wanted to take the conversation to a different level. He introduced adultery into the conversation as an attention grabber. The Pharisees knew that adultery was a huge sin. Even though they were trying to minimize the offense of divorce, no one would dare to overlook adultery. Jesus was getting at the heart of the issue, which the Pharisees were overlooking. Even though the law allowed for divorce, it’s never what God intended and therefore was not pleasing to God.
Malachi 2:15-16 Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.“For I hate divorce!”says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”
It doesn’t get any clearer than that. God hates divorce because it destroys something special and leaves a lot of damage in its wake.
Jesus’ marriage tip: marry once and for a lifetime
This was God’s intention all along. This is clearly evident in how God speaks about marriage throughout the Bible.
Matthew 19:3-8 Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?” “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said,“‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?” they asked.
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.
God’s intention for marriage was about two people becoming one. And, once you’re one with someone, you can’t go back to being two. That’s why divorce doesn’t make sense in God’s plan. But, as the people moved further away from God, divorce became more a part of the culture. God made an allowance for divorce only because of the sinful patterns of the people.
God’s grace is bigger than our failures
It’s important to take note of Jesus’ attitude during this exchange, Jesus wasn’t condemning the people who had been divorced and He wasn’t publicly humiliating them for their choices. But he was challenging the condition of their hearts. Jesus was sad to see people disrespecting marriage. But, just as Jesus is passionate about the sanctity of marriage, he is also passionate about grace and forgiveness. So, if divorce is already a part of your story, Jesus’ grace can cover that. Divorce isn’t the unpardonable sin. Confess your mistakes to him and he will make you new. The important thing, moving forward, is that you align your heart with God’s heart and submit to his Word.
Romans 3:23-24 For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- How have you seen divorce affect people in your life? Has divorce affected your life? Explain.
- In your opinion, why do you think divorce is so common today?
- What’s the difference between the letter of the law verses the spirit of the law? Give an example.
- Read Matthew 19:4-6. The marriage union has been compared to gluing two pieces of paper together. What happens if you try to pull those papers apart? How does divorce compare to that image?
- Read Romans 3:23-24. What do these verses say about us? What do these verses say about Jesus?
- How has this topic challenged you? How has this topic helped you?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
