Are you doing all you can to love and protect your kids? Dads face pressure from all sides. We are called to be the spiritual leader in the home and in many cases the main financial provider as well. Our own fathers have profoundly influenced who we are today…for good or for bad. We have that same influence on our children. What will your influence on your kids be?
Kids Need to Understand You Love Them
Our kids know we love them…but do they really?
Telling our children we love them all the time doesn’t cut it. They need to understand we love them. This means not only loving speech, but loving actions. Our kids will understand our love for them when we faithfully and consistently speak out and act out love in their lives. Kids notice our attitudes and behaviors. If we go through the motions of fatherhood without the love behind our actions, our kids might “know” they are loved without “understanding” they are loved.
Reflecting Jesus on Our Kids
Being a lighthouse that guides our kids to Jesus is the single most important thing we can do. We mess up; he doesn’t. We must point our kids to Jesus, the ultimate father figure. Read the Bible with your kids, pray together, and make sure your children see their father living out a walk with Jesus.
Discipline in the Context of Love
So often when our kids do something wrong that disappoints or embarrasses us, our first instinct is to discipline in the context of fear. We raise our voices or become visibly angry to show them that they are in the wrong and “Dad is in charge.”
As natural as this may be for many of us, this is not the most effective method of discipline. A more effective method of discipline is to calmly reassure children that we love them and therefore must discipline them. Explain that God has given parents the responsibility to guide children through life. Discipline must happen from time to time, and the way our children remember it will be affected by our approach. Our relationships with our kids will only grow through discipline in the context of love.
Protect Kids Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually
When we think of a dad’s protection, we might imagine a dad rescuing his children from danger and providing for their needs. We should think of it this way!
While physical protection is necessary, many dads miss the other sides of protecting their kids. Dads need to protect children emotionally and spiritually. Emotional protection can be as easy as being a kind, gentle, and understanding parent. Spiritual protection involves consistent prayer and guidance over our children’s budding relationship with God.
Raising our children in a loving and safe environment is one of the most important things we can do as fathers. We are going to fail at times and disappoint our kids. Moving beyond these failures, we need to focus on loving our kids consistently, reflecting Jesus in our lives, disciplining them in love, and protecting them in all the ways we know how. If we can be dads who at least make our best effort to do these things, our kids will begin to thrive. Our relationships with our children will prosper, and we will become a bright spot in their childhoods, not a source of pain and regret.
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- What can you do to help your child understand that you love them? Name one example of when you saw this happen.
- How can limiting social media and TV exposure protect your child? Why?
- Do you read the Bible with your kids? If so, how does this affect your relationship? If not, how could reading together improve your relationship? Explain.
- What kind of punishment shows firm discipline but also demonstrates love at the same time? Give an example.
- Do you remember any time when your father disciplined you with love? How did that affect you opposed to a time where he didn’t discipline well?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
