Affection is important in every marriage and it’s not limited to the bedroom.
Talking Points:
- This language is not limited to sex. The person with this language needs many types of touch whether it’s a hug, holding hands or cuddling on the couch.
- Using the excuse, “I’m not a touchy feely person” won’t cut it if you want a healthy marriage. If this is your spouse’s language then you need to find a way to speak love to your spouse through affection. Proverbs 5:18
- As with any of the love languages, you may see a change over the years in your need for one of your languages. So, with physical touch, you may not need as much affection in year 10 as you did in year one. The point is to meet the needs and expectations of your spouse whether their need changes or not.
- What do you do if your spouse refuses to be affectionate? This is challenging because you can’t make your spouse do something they don’t want to do. But, pray that your spouse will have a teachable heart in this area and encourage them to find a mentor that can help them see the importance of speaking your language of love.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Would the people in your life identify you as a “touchy feely” couple or the “unaffectionate” couple? Explain.
- As a couple, are you on the same page with how much affection you show each other? Explain.
- Read Proverbs 5:18. Why is affection important? What tends to happen when couples stop being affectionate?
- What is likely to happen if one spouse thinks affection should always lead to sex?
- If you are not naturally an affectionate person, what are some practical things you can do to grow in this area for the sake of your spouse?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
Adapted from the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
