So you’re going through our parenting in stages topic and now you’re in a panic because your kid is already at stage two or three. Is it too late to start parenting on purpose? Not at all! Don’t spend precious time and energy worrying about what you did wrong yesterday. Focus on today and tomorrow and try these helpful tips:
Tip #1: Identify the Correct Stage for Your Kids
You may have missed out on a stage or two, but that’s okay. Identify the stage you’re at with each kid and start from there. The point is to incorporate the principles behind each stage. For example, if you’re in the training stage, start implementing a family devotional time where you talk about life together and apply God’s word. This will start training your kids to think about going God’s way.
Tip# 2 Admit Your Shortcomings to Your Kids
One of the best teaching tools for parents is modeling a humble heart. You aren’t a perfect parent and you will mess up. Be authentic with your kids, acknowledge where you’ve failed, and share what you want to do to correct your course.
Tip #3: Have a Family Meeting to Talk About Changes
Especially if your kids are older, have a family meeting to discuss your parenting adjustments. It would be better for you to talk about the changes you’re making and why you are doing it instead of just changing the rules with no explanation. Get everyone on the same page and ensure your kids understand the rules and consequences for breaking them.
Tip #4: Schedule Intentional Conversations
One of the most practical changes you can make is to start having intentional mentoring conversations as a family or one-on-one with your kids. There are many topics you need to cover with your kids before they leave the home, and pursueGOD.org’s resources online will help you cover those topics.
Tip #5: Start Talking About “That Day”
Especially for those opinionated teens, it’s important to start talking about the last stage of parenting (friendship). That’s when you’ll kick the kids out and stop buying them food. The sooner you can convince them that it’s coming, the more they’ll start taking personal ownership of their attitudes and actions.
Written content for this topic edited by Daniel Martin.
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- How old are your kids? On a scale of 1-10, how intentionally have you parented over the years?
- Of the four stages of parenting, which one is the hardest for you? Which is the easiest? Why?
- What personal shortcomings have you or should you admit to your kids? Explain.
- Schedule a weekly time to your kids as a group or one-on-one. What will make it difficult to keep this commitment?
- Why is it important to start talking about “that day” when your kids will leave the home?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
