Watch the video above and talk about it with a group or mentor. Learn more.

There's a difference between living under the power of hurt and living above the impact of what others do.

Is forgiveness the same as forgetting the offense? The short answer is no. It’s not really logical to think that you can just forget a major offense and the impact it had on you. If you’ve been abused or rejected by someone, those are very difficult things to forget. If you can recall those events, does that mean you haven’t forgiven them?

The goal isn’t really to forget but to release yourself from hanging onto it

When we’ve been hurt, it’s easy to get angry and bitter towards that person. But, the problem is, those emotions only break us down. They have no effect on the person who wronged us. Our anger and bitterness isn’t going to change the other person’s behavior. All it does is poison our own thoughts that then make us react in ways that we might later regret.

Forgiveness is the way to put out the fire

Forgiveness isn’t about letting someone off the hook or letting them get away with their bad behavior. Forgiveness is a gift you give to release yourself from carrying around hate and bitterness in your heart. And, it helps you to guard against having a vengeful heart that wants to hurt others in the same way you’ve been hurt.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. If you can, share about a time when someone hurt you with their words or actions. Did it make you angry? On a scale of 1-10, how hard was it to forgive that person? Explain.
  4. “Bitterness is very toxic. It is like poison.” Do you agree? Why or why not?
  5. Do you think the person who hurt you is at peace with what they’ve done? Explain.
  6. Read Matthew 18:21-22. “You have the right to be healed.” Do you agree? Do you need the offender to ask for forgiveness before you can heal? Why or why not?
  7. Do you think you will hurt other people if you remain bitter and refuse to forgive? Explain.
  8. Read Colossians 3:13. Do you think forgiveness can set you free? What will it take to get there?
  9. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
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