Gottman's research shows that your overall attitude towards your spouse directly impacts whether your marriage will succeed or fail.

Talking Points:

  • Positive Sentiment Override means you choose to see the best in your spouse – focusing on the things you love and respect about them. In conflict, you respond with grace, recognizing that your spouse made a mistake. You forgive and move on. Ephesians 4:32
  • Negative Sentiment Override means you choose to see the worst in your spouse – focusing on the things that hurt or annoy you. In conflict, you respond in disgust, concluding that this is just another example of a flawed spouse. You stay bitter. 1 Peter4:8
  • All hope isn’t lost even if you’re stuck in the Negative Sentiment Override. Start earning trust with your spouse through healthy communication and intentional time together. Colossians 3:12
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. How have you seen your attitude affect the way you view other things in your life? (Ex. work, vacation, home projects)
  3. What are some of the traits you admire in your spouse?
  4. Which sentiment best describes you and your spouse right now? How have you seen your overall attitude help or hurt your relationship?
  5. Read Ephesians 4:32 and Colossians 3:12. How do these verses challenge you and the way you interact with your spouse? How do you need to grow?
  6. Read 1 Peter 4:8. If your spouse has failed you, how can you extend grace to them? How could a gracious response change your overall attitude?
  7. What are the areas where trust needs to be earned in the relationship? What are some practical steps you can take to build trust?
  8. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?