Anger happens. Someone flips you off on the road. Your spouse leaves out the milk all night. Your neighbor’s dog goes to the bathroom on your lawn. All of these situations and others like them tend to make us angry. But do we have to get angry all the time? No. Use these four suggestions below to learn how to overcome this powerful emotion.
Be slow to anger
There is no hurry to respond when someone offends you. Take a few deep breaths, close your mouth and keep yourself from reacting immediately. We tend to get into trouble because we are quick to lose our temper. Before you’re angry, decide to keep a level head. Even after doing this, you will still get angry from time to time, but being mindful about your anger will help you to slow down this emotion.
James 1:19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
Try not to say anything negative right away
Anger and negativity often go together. When we are angry, we tend to say things negatively toward others. Instead of trying to encourage others, we tend to be critical of them. If this is you, give yourself this challenge: keep from saying anything negative to those around you for the next 24 hours. No matter what happens, don’t saying anything negative or critical. After a successful 24 hours, see if you can extend that time to 48 hours.
Think about the consequences
How long is it going to take you to undo what you said or did when you were angry? Many times we would probably avoid getting angry and lashing out if we considered the consequences of our actions. We may say something in a flash of anger and not even really mean it, but the power of our words can last for years. Wait until the impulse of anger wears off before responding so that you are not paying a high price for your own wrath. If you’ve learned to be slow to anger, then you will be more likely to consider the consequences before opening your mouth.
Don’t ruminate
A cow regurgitates and chews on its food. Sometimes when we are angry we keep going over and over the situation. We role play it in our minds and think of what we would have liked to say. This just increases our anger and can actually lead to poor physical health. We are just filling ourselves with anger, bitterness, and stress. Instead of getting angry, pray for the person you are mad at. It’s very hard to pray for someone and remain mad at them.
Hebrews 12:15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- Read James 1:19. What does it mean to be “slow to anger?” Give some examples of what it looks like to be “slow to anger.”
- What is it that we really want when we are angry? How does our anger betray our true intention and work against achieving what we really want?
- How can negativity get you in trouble with others? How would your relationships in life change if you were less negative?
- Why is it important to consider the consequences of your anger?
- Read Hebrews 12:15. What was the last thing you angrily ruminated on? How did you feel after ruminating on your anger?
- Is anger a choice? Why or why not? How much does feeling angry have to do with self control? What is your natural reaction when you are feeling angry?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
