How do you forgive someone who’s hurt you when everything in you wants to hold on to the pain?
Talking Points:
- God does not promise that obeying him by forgiving others means we will be pain-free, but it is a good start to let go of anger, bitterness, revenge, and resentment. Colossians 3:12-13
- Forgiving someone is not the same as allowing a toxic relationship to move forward unimpeded, and it’s not the same as forgiving someone who refuses to acknowledge that they have hurt you. In those cases, you may not be able to reconciled but you can still forgive them. Proverbs 24:17
- 4 steps to forgiving others:
- Trust God to deal with those who have hurt you
- Clearly communicate your pain to the person who has hurt you
- Pray for the other person Matthew 5:44
- Stop talking negatively about people who have hurt you. Romans 12:17
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Does forgiveness seem to be a virtue our culture holds in high regard? Explain why or why not.
- Have you ever been tempted to gossip about a person who’s hurt you, or to talk about your situation to everyone except the person who hurt you? Share as you are comfortable.
- What is the difference between “forgiveness” and “reconciliation?” Explain.
- Read 1 John 1:9. What is required of people to receive God’s forgiveness? How does this truth inform our own ideas of “forgiving” and “reconciling with” other people?
- Read Proverbs 24:17. Share a time it has been difficult to trust God to deal with the people who have hurt you?
- Has confronting a person who’s hurt you helped release your pain? Or has there been a time where not confronting the person has caused you even more pain?
- Read Colossians 3:12-13. What do these verses call us to do? How can the 4 steps above help us to forgive someone right now?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
