Let’s say you have finished mentor training, and you are ready to take the next step and actually mentor someone. You have prayed about it, and you have identified who you want to mentor. Well, how do you talk to them about it?
It’s normal to feel awkward and a little nervous about approaching someone about a mentoring relationship. You don’t just want to walk up to someone and say, “Can I be your mentor?”
So, here are a few tips for starting a mentoring relationship.
You don’t have to call it mentoring.
You can begin to mentor someone without ever using the word “mentoring.” Jesus didn’t always ask someone if they wanted to be his disciple. He just started discipling them. You can use the same approach. Invite a friend to coffee or lunch to talk about a specific issue.
You can say, “I’d love to share with you some stuff I learned about marriage that really has helped my marriage. I think it could really help you too. Let’s meet and talk about it.”
Invite them to discuss a specific conversation or series.
Don’t just invite a person to meet with you to vaguely talk about the Bible, religion, or faith. Invite them to meet with you to talk about a specific conversation that will be helpful for them. Or, invite them to meet with you to go over a three or four week series.
You can say, “We’ve talked a few times about why we can trust the Bible, but I can tell you still have questions about this. Would you want to go through this simple three week study on the topic with me. It certainly has helped me answer questions about why I should trust the Bible.”
Share how you have been helped by these relationships.
When people experience the benefits of mentoring it will change their attitude about the whole process. Share with the person you are wanting to mentor how having a mentor has helped you. Help them to see the real, tangible benefits that they will experience.
You can say, “I thought having a mentor was a little weird at first. But it has been great to have someone in my life that I can discuss real issues with and find answers to tough questions. Together we learn what God has to say about the areas of life that are most important to us.”
God has built us to connect with each other. Mentoring provides us the opportunity to find the authentic relationships that we were created to have. And you can offer this kind of relationship to someone else when you invite them into a mentoring relationship.
Discussion Questions:
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- How did you start your mentoring relationship with your mentor?
- What is the worst possible outcome of asking someone if they would like you to mentor them?
- How can you make that initial mentoring conversation a little less awkward for everyone?
- Practice initiating a mentoring relationship with a friend or other mentor at your church.
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
Ministry Tools:
