Watch the video above and talk about it with a group or mentor. Learn more.
It’s easy for people to say, “You should fight to save your marriage” but the reality of those words is tough. If your marriage is on the brink, consider these things before you make any decisions about ending your marriage.
Stay open to reconciliation
To reconcile means two different people and ideas come together to make something good again. For reconciliation to work, you have to have a heart that is open to healing and compromise. Marriages break up because people allow obstacles and disagreements to grow so big that they don’t feel love for one another. It may seem impossible to save something so broken, but with God, anything is possible.
2 Corinthians 5:19 For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.
With God’s help, we can have a heart that is open to reconciliation.
Choose to submit to God’s word
You can’t rely on your own strength on matters of the heart. You need to rely on God to give you the strength and clarity to be open to reconciliation, especially if you’ve been deeply hurt by your spouse. Read your Bible, pray, and seek godly counsel so you can hear what God has to say and what his heart is for your marriage.
Romans 12:2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Stay away from toxic thinking
In order to save a broken marriage, you’ll have to force yourself to be open to new things. You can’t stay stuck in the past, replaying old arguments and hurts. This only leads to bitterness and resentment which will prove to be toxic to yourself and sabotages any chance at a healthy marriage.
Pray for your spouse
This will prove if your heart is open to reconciliation. If you can pray for your spouse, your heart will be softened toward them and their shortcomings. You’ll also be more likely to be humble about your own contributions to the problems in the marriage.
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- On a scale from 1-10, how open to reconciliation are you today? Explain.
- Do you know of couples who have successfully reconciled? What was the key?
- What does it look like to be totally submitted to God? How do you need God’s help right now?
- Do you find yourself reliving the painful past? What affect has that had on you? Do you agree that it’s not helpful to replay history? Explain.
- Do you pray for your spouse? What do you pray for on their behalf? What do pray for on your behalf?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
