Key Elements:
- Private prayer with family.
- Public opening words and prayer. (1 Thessalonians 4:13.)
- Song, poem or Scripture reading. (John 11:25-26; 1 Corinthians 15:54-57.)
- Sharing memories.
- Memorial video.
- Pastoral thoughts and closing prayer.
Bible Text:
2 Corinthians 4:18 So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
- Who will you invite to the private prayer time before the service?
- Who will be the officiant of the memorial service? Do you have any special instructions or requests for him or her?
- Which song(s) or scripture reading(s) do you want to use?
- Who will you invite to share memories during the ceremony? What time limit will you ask everyone to respect?
- Will you be using a memorial video? If so, who is in charge of creating it? How will you display it?
- Do you have any other details to talk about as a family?
Grief Support
When a family in your church or community experiences a tragic loss, consider creating a grief support team to help them cope. The grief support team can include these key roles:
Meal coordinator. This is the point person for coordinating meals for the family. Having a coordinator centralizes the church’s efforts to bless the family with meals without stressing them out with the details. The meal coordinator can keep a care calendar and communicate the family’s preferences to those who are bringing meals.
Service planner. Planning for a memorial is time-consuming and emotional. We recommend designating a “planner” from among your friends or family – someone who is willing to take the lead and make some phone calls. Your planner can follow up on the information below.
Care team. These are hand-selected mentors or friends who are committed to reaching out weekly to the family for individualized care. Try assigning a unique “big brother or sister” to kids in the family who are experiencing grief, giving everyone special care and taking pressure off of parents to help their kids grieve a loss. Sensitize your prayer team by going through the Death and Grieving series together.
