When people asked Jesus what the greatest commandment was, he said,

John 15:12-13, 17 This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. This is my command: Love each other.

Christians Should Be Famous for How They Love

This should be our reputation. But loving others can be hard to do. Many of us get caught up in counting other people’s sins against them while forgetting our own faults. In the Christian community, we fight against each other about the form of religion or over hot button issues, and forget that our passion should be about sharing the love of Jesus with the world. If we’re going to be known for the way we love, we have to; let go of offenses, be okay with getting less than we give, and treating people with respect even though they disrespect us. It means learning to love as Jesus has loved us.

This is the kind of love Jesus has for us. He sacrificed his life for us to save us. He took on our sin and shame to heal us, He chooses to forgive us even when we make the same mistakes over and over. And, if we can love like Jesus, we will drastically change how we interface with the world.

Love Has the Power to Change the World

Jesus’ love for us is the true world changer. Because of his sacrifice, we can go from death to life, slave to free. But even as Christians, the way we love can help to change a person’s life. Reaching out to a lonely person, serving people in crisis, and sharing kind and encouraging words can make a huge impact in a person’s life. We can be the tangible love of Jesus to hurting people by how we love.  And here’s the truth, when we love like Jesus loves, we will experience joy. Joy is another fruit of the Holy Spirit that needs to grow out of us.

Joy Isn’t a Mood But a Confident Attitude

Joy is more significant than just being in a good mood. It’s a confident attitude that exudes from us no matter the good or bad. Joy is deeper and more steadfast than just being happy.

James 1:2-3 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.

True Joy Requires an Eternal Perspective

Joy has an eternal perspective, not a temporary one. So, when the trials come, a joyful person can see it in light of eternity. This has to be what Jesus was thinking when he faced the cross.

Hebrews 12:2  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.

His joy wasn’t about feeling good that he had to suffer and die for us. His joy came from understanding how his temporary pain changed the world for all eternity. His death meant life for us. His pain meant healing for our sinful condition. He could endure the trial knowing that it was brief in light of forever. He understood the greater purpose and it was worth the pain. This can be true for us as well..That same joy that Jesus had, we can have if we let the Spirit grow it in us. No matter what life brings, we can choose joy and remember that we belong to Jesus and our future is in heaven.

Discussion Questions:

1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
3. Describe a person that would be easy for you to love. Describe a person that would be hard for you to love.
4. Read John 15:12-13,17. Why do you think Jesus had to make it a commandment that we love others? Why is it so hard for us to be loving?
5. Why does true love require a sacrificial attitude? How can Christians improve in the way we show love to the world?
6. On a scale from 1-10, how joyful of a person do you think you are? What tends to get you down and robs you of joy?
7. James 1:2-3. Why is perspective important when it comes to understanding joy? How has a trial in your life helped you to grow as a person?
8. Read Hebrews 12:2. What was Jesus’ focus during his suffering? How can the hope of heaven help you to endure the trials of this life?
9. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

Adpated from the book  The Fruit of the Spirit: Becoming The Person God Wants You to Be by Thomas Trask and Wayde Goodall. 

Everybody longs for a life of peace and we seek to find places where we can experience it. Maybe it’s found atop the mountain or while laying on the beach with the rhythmic sound of waves washing against the shore? Wherever it is, we want to find that quiet place where we can feel like all is well. But here’s the challenge: we may find moments of peace but we live in a world full of chaos. We are faced with challenges at home, at work, in our relationships, and within ourselves. We feel anxious, worried, burdened, and tired. Peace is elusive.

God offers us peace – his peace. He doesn’t promise that we’ll never experience storms in our lives, but he does promise to give us peace to get through them.

Peace Is an Inward Confidence That Comes from Knowing That God Is with Us

God’s peace is of a different quality than “peace” as we often think of it. God’s peace is a calmness that threaded through our lives because we know we are safely in the hands of a loving father. Peace is about trusting that God will walk with us no matter the struggle or situation, giving us the support, wisdom, and opportunities we need to press on.

The Benefits of the Fruit of Peace in Our Lives

• God’s peace means we can be content no matter the circumstance (Philippians 4:7).
• God’s peace calms our fears (Proverbs 3:5-6).
• God’s peace means we can be peacemakers (Colossians 3:15).

God’s peace comes from knowing that God is in control even though our lives feel chaotic.

The Fruit of Patience Naturally Flows from a Heart of Peace

Think about how patience works in our lives, or better yet, why we grow impatient. Impatience often comes from having a lack of peace about a situation. We get frustrated when the answers don’t come in the timing we prefer, or the resolution we’re looking for doesn’t play out they way we planned. We begin to doubt God. This doubt and lack of trust breeds contempt and anger in our hearts, which leads to impatience.

Proverbs 14:29 People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.

If we allow God’s peace to reign in our hearts and minds, we will find the ability to have self-restraint and patience. We won’t feel the need to take matters into our own hands or worry about the “what if’s” of life. We will learn to wait on God and let him guide us along the path.

Exodus 14:14  The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.

2 Peter 3:9 The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.

Remember, the fruit of patience that comes from the Spirit is of a different quality than worldly patience. Think about God’s character and how patient he has been with us. You don’t have to read far into the Old Testament to see how many times God’s people failed and turned from him to worship idols. God forgave them and wait patiently for them to realize their mistakes. When they turned back to him, he blessed and restored them.

With the Spirit’s help, we can be peaceful and patient people who don’t feel the need to take control of every situation. Wait on God and his timing. Know he will come through for you.

Discussion Questions:

1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
3. Describe your most peaceful place. Why does that setting make you feel relaxed and calm?
4. Describe a situation where you have felt the opposite of peace. What made that situation so scary or uncomfortable?
5. How is God’s peace different from our idea of peace? Describe a time that you experienced God’s peace in the midst of a stressful time.
6. Read Proverbs 3:5-6. What does it took like to trust in the Lord with all our hearts? Why is it dangerous to trust in our own understanding?
7. In your opinion, how are peace and patience related? Explain.
8. What are some situations that you grow impatient over? How can understanding God’s peace help you to better deal with impatience?
9. Read 2 Peter 3:9. How has God changed and grown you after having gone through difficulties? Why is it that we tend to learn more from the challenges than the triumphs?
10. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

Adapted from the book  The Fruit of the Spirit: Becoming The Person God Wants You to Be by Thomas Trask and Wayde Goodall. 

It’s easy to be kind to nice and pleasant people or to those who do things for us. But it is a challenge to be kind to people who take advantage of us or who have wronged us. By the Holy Spirit working in us, we can rise to the level of kindness that allows us to reach out and help those who seem undeserving.

Romans 12:20-21 If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads. Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

Luke 6:27-28 But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.

Kindness Is Having a Compassionate Heart for Others That Motivates Us Toward Action

Christians should always be about looking outward, paying attention to the needs and struggles of others – whether or not those people have have earned the right to our kindness. True kindness is also going beyond just feeling bad for someone but being willing to take action to help them.

This is what God did for us. He saw our brokenness and had compassion for our condition. He chose to be kind. But he didn’t stop there. He took action to fix the problem by sending Jesus to die for us.

Romans 5:6-8 When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners.  Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

God’s Kindness Leads Us to Recognize our Need for Him

God’s kindness draws us toward him. His love, care, and grace makes us want to be around him more. And when we’re around him more, we will understand our need for him.

Romans 2:4 Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?

This is how it should be for us as Christians as we relate to the world around us. The fruit of kindness emanating from us should draw others to want to know the source of our kindness.

Goodness Speaks to Our Character and the Desire to Be More Like God

The word “goodness” means to be like God. This doesn’t mean we become “a god.” It just means that as we remain in Christ, and the fruit of kindness continues to grow in us, our nature will change more and more to look like Jesus.

Philippians  2:13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

The Bible talks about the goodness of God as part of his character. It’s not something he does; it’s who he is. As we continue to become new creations, becoming more like Christ, goodness can become more of a character trait in us, too. Instead of being motivated to do good because we want accolades or rewards, we do good because we’ve allowed God to change our hearts. We choose obedience to God and bring honor to him. We choose to be kind and to serve others because we understand all that God has given to us.

2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of his call. May he give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do. 12 Then the name of our Lord Jesus will be honored because of the way you live, and you will be honored along with him. This is all made possible because of the grace of our God and Lord, Jesus Christ.

As we allow the Holy Spirit to grow more of his kindness and goodness in our lives, we will draw others to want to know this kind and gracious God.

Discussion Questions:

1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
3. Share a story of someone’s kind act that greatly affected you. How did you respond? Why?
4. Share a story of someone’s unkind act that greatly affected you. How did you respond? Why?
5. Read Romans 12:20-21. Think about the people who have been unkind to you. What actions could you take to live out this verse with those people?
6. Read Luke 6:27-28. How does praying for people who have hurt us help us in the end? Share a personal example.
7. Why is action a necessary part of true kindness?
8. Read Romans 5:6-8. Why is it significant to know that Jesus died for us while we were still in our sinful condition? How does this verse challenge you with the more difficult relationships in your life?
9. Describe how you’ve changed since putting your trust in Jesus. How have you seen God work in your life to change you?
10. Read 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12. What are some practical ways you can be kind to others that would point them to want to know Jesus?
11. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

Adapted from the book  The Fruit of the Spirit: Becoming The Person God Wants You to Be by Thomas Trask and Wayde Goodall. 

Faithfulness is an important quality in many facets of life. We understand the importance of being faithful to our wedding vows and we all love the faithful friend and coworker because they actually do what they say they’re going to do. What does faithfulness look like in the Christian life?

Faithfulness Is about Being Trustworthy and Steadfast in Character

Faithfulness is synonymous with trustworthiness. A faithful person will prove to be faithful by their actions over time. As Christian women, we should be known as faithful people who keep our word, honor commitments, and live in a manner that reflects God’s character.

God hasn’t chosen to play by a different set of rules when it comes to faithfulness. He chose to prove his faithfulness to us by his actions throughout the Bible. He didn’t just say, “I’m faithful.”

Deuteronomy 7:9 Understand, therefore, that the Lord your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands.

God had generations of examples to prove his faithfulness to us. Because of that, we can trust that God will be faithful to us and will come through for us every time.

Our Faithfulness to God Means Being Obedient to Him

We can prove our faithfulness to God through our obedience. The more the fruit of faithfulness grows in us, the more we will want to choose God’s way. Instead of acting on our own thoughts and opinions, we’ll let the Bible tell us how we should think and act. It means we’ll choose to be responsive to the Holy Spirit’s promptings and go where he tells us to go.

Gentleness Means We’re Measured in Our Response to Others

The fruit of gentleness is necessary to have healthy relationships, but it’s important to identify what “gentleness” means and what it doesn’t mean. Gentleness doesn’t mean we should become pushovers who get taken advantage of by others. It doesn’t mean we sweep things under the rug and avoid confrontation. Gentleness means we are thoughtful with our words and reactions. Before responding, we think about every perspective and respond in a manner that breathes life, not death, into our relationships. We might have to speak a hard truth to someone, but we need to do it in love.

1 Peter 3:15-16 Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it. But do this in a gentle and respectful way. Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ.

Galatians 6:1 Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly  should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.

Any time we need find ourselves in a confrontation, we need to remember the ultimate win – which is to point people to Jesus. If it’s a Christian we’re confronting, it’s to remind them to do things God’s way. If it’s an unbeliever, we need to respond in a way that doesn’t turn them off from ever wanting to know Jesus.

The fruit of faithfulness helps us to obey God and to prove our trustworthiness to him and others. The fruit of gentleness helps us to have healthy relationships, especially in times of conflict.

Discussion Questions:

1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
3. Describe the most faithful, trustworthy person you know. How have they proven themselves?
4. How has a person’s unfaithfulness hurt you in the past?
5. Read Deuteronomy 7:9. Why do you think God wanted to prove his faithfulness to us? How has God proven himself faithful to you?
6. If you’re a parent, what does obedience from your kids communicate to you? What does their disobedience communicate to you? How does this relate to our relationship with God?
7. Share a time you were confronted by someone in a harsh way. How did you react? How was the relationship affected?
8. Read 1 Peter 3:15-16. What does a gentle response have the ability to do that a harsh response doesn’t? Give an example.
9. Read Galatians 6:1. What are some practical things you can do or say to help someone back on the right path with God?
10. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

Adapted from the book  The Fruit of the Spirit: Becoming The Person God Wants You to Be by Thomas Trask and Wayde Goodall. 

The spiritual fruit of self control stands on its own in some ways. We can feign some of the other fruits in our lives, or get away with smaller amounts, but self control is impossible to fake. You either have it or you don’t. Self control touches every area of our lives: food, emotions, speech, money, entertainment, and self indulgences. Unlike the other fruits, a lack of self control can do real damage to our lives.

Proverbs 25:28 A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.

Self Control Is Inward Strength

Self control is an inward choice to live according to a code.  We might call it “discipline.” It’s not that we won’t be tempted to do or to have things we shouldn’t, but self control gives us the ability to say “no” to the bad things and “yes” to the good things. It’s about ruling our feelings and not letting our feelings rule us. True self control can’t just be based on our good intentions or even our emotions. Trusting in those things will surely fail us. Real self control grows out of our relationship with Christ. That’s why it’s a fruit of the spirit.

The Fruit of Self Control Is God’s Presence at Work in Us

As we grow in our relationship with Christ, we will learn what honors and dishonors him. And, these insights into God’s character will motivate us to make choices that align with his heart. We’ll want to say “Yes” to honoring God and “No’ to the sinful pleasures.

Philippians 4:13For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

Titus 2:11-12 For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God…

Some Practical Things We Can Do to Grow Self Control

• Read God’s word to know his opinion on everything.
• Pray about the areas in which we struggle.
• Get a mentor or accountability structure.

Self control is an inward strength that comes from God which allows us to live devoted lives to him.

[External Resource: The Fruit of the Spirit – What is Self-Control?]

Discussion Questions:

1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
3. What are some of your guilty pleasures? Why do you desire to have them?
4. Read Proverbs 25:28. How has a lack of self control negatively impacted your life?
5. In your opinion, why is it hard for people to exercise self control? What are some of the common excuses people make for certain indulgences?
6. Read Philippians 4:13. How has God convicted your heart in the past over certain choices and how did he help you to move past them?
7. Read Titus 2:11-12. According to this passage, what should motivate us to live a different way?
8. How does knowing God’s word help us with self control? How could a mentor help you in the areas where you struggle?
9. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

Adapted from the book  The Fruit of the Spirit: Becoming The Person God Wants You to Be by Thomas Trask and Wayde Goodall.