Watch the video above and talk about it with a group or mentor. Learn more.
Today we’re talking about the four types of friends. This comes from Dr. Henry Cloud’s book The Power of the Other. Here the four types:
The Loner Friend
These are my words – but the loner is that person who is disconnected – somebody who is a maverick, somebody who isn’t really totally present or there for you. You don’t want to be this friend, either!
The Toxic Friend
The second kind of connection is a toxic person. A toxic connection is pessimistic and negative – they’re always tearing you down. Everybody has some toxic relationships in their life. You don’t want to be this friend!
The Fake Friend
The third type of connection I just call the fake connection. This is probably a person that you like to be around, but it’s just a “yes man” – you don’t really know what they’re thinking because they never tell you the truth to your face. You should be a truth-teller to your friends instead of being fake.
The True Friend
The fourth kind of connection I’m just going to call the “true connection.” This is the kind of person who is authentic – this is a healthy relationship. This kind of person builds you up and strengthens you, helping you to really become a better friend, a better teammate, and a better individual. You want these kinds of people in your life and you should seek to be one.
Henry Cloud’s whole point is that other people have power over us. He says we have to recognize and eliminate the loners, the toxic people, and the fake people in our lives – and we need to try to get more and more of these “true” types of connections. He calls them “Corner Four” relationships. The point is that the more of these kinds of people that you have in your life, the more successful and satisfied an individual you will be.
Discussion Questions:
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- Have you ever had a friend who was a loner, who was toxic, or who was fake? What happened?
- Is it possible for someone who is a loner, toxic, or fake to become a true friend? How would they become a true friend?
- Be honest: are you the loner, the toxic, or the fake friend to someone? What do you need to do to change?
- Who are the true friends in your life? How do you know they are true? What can you do to be a true friend to the people around you?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
