Apologizing is difficult to do but a necessary skill if you want to have a healthy marriage. Avoid some typical excuses for why people don’t want to say “I’m sorry.”
Talking Points:
- #1 You don’t feel like you did anything wrong. It’s healthier to realize that even though you may not have messed up the way your spouse did, you have messed up in other ways.
- #2 You feel like the other person was totally at fault. It’s human nature to place blame somewhere else and to give yourself the benefit of the doubt.
- #3 Apologizing makes you weak. Many people view an apology as giving in, like it’s better to hide our faults than to own up to them. James 5:16
- #4 What’s the point if I’m going to fail again? It is true that words can be cheap, but that shouldn’t be an excuse not to try. Romans 10:13, Colossians 3:12-13
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- How quick are you to apologize when you’re wrong? Explain.
- Of the four roadblocks, which one are you most prone to claim? How has that roadblock affected your relationships?
- Why do you think people have a hard time apologizing?
- Read James 5:16. Describe a time an apology helped a relationship. Describe a time a lack of an apology hurt a relationship.
- Read Colossians 3:13. What does this verse say to us about forgiveness? Why should we choose to forgive? Why should we be quick to apologize?
- What do you have to lose by owning up to your mistakes and apologizing? What do you have to gain?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
This content is adapted from When Sorry Isn’t Enough by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas. See the FLEXTALK.org version of this topic.
