God Wants Your EQ
Even though EQ is a new idea to us, God had it in mind all along.
Talking Points:
- EQ measures your emotional and relational health. It’s the ability to know yourself and to empathize and understand others. Psalm 139:1, Proverbs 2:3
- God created us as emotional, relational, and spiritual beings. By nature, these components are broken in all of us. Genesis 1:31, Jeremiah 17:9
- A relationship with God makes you a healthy and whole person. God changes you from the inside out, impacting the spiritual, emotional, and relational. Matthew 22:37-39, 1 John 1:7, John 10:10
Discussion:
- Initial reactions? What jumped out at you?
- Share about a person in your life who seems to have high EQ. What qualities do they have that you admire? Share about a person in your life who seems to have low EQ. What qualities do they have that drive you crazy?
- Why do you think EQ is a better predictor than IQ for success in life? Why is the ability to understand others important to healthy relationships?
- Read Genesis 1:27-31. Why do you think God made a point to say “very good” when he created us? What do you think it means that you were created in the image of God? How does knowing that you are an image bearer of God change the way you look at yourself?
- Read Jeremiah 17:9. How have you seen people deceived by their feelings?
- Read John 10:10. How have you seen the enemy kill and destroy relationships? What does a rich and satisfying life look like?
- Read Matthew 22:37-39. How will growing in your love for God (spiritual) impact the way you view yourself (emotional) and others (relational)?
- What’s your action step based on today’s topic?
Three Markers of a Self-Aware Person
Humans are made in God’s image, but we’re also born with a sin nature. Learning to be self-aware will help Christians live out their new nature. Ezekiel 36:26
Talking Points:
- Self-aware people have the courage to articulate their faults and strengths. They’re secure enough to take a compliment or listen to a rebuke. Proverbs 2:3, Romans 12:3
- Self-aware people are humble and teachable when someone points out a weakness. They avoid sinful responses to sin and show a willingness to own their trash. Genesis 3:11-12, Proverbs 13:18
- Self-aware people have authentic prayer lives. Their transparency with God leads to transparency with others. Psalm 139:23-24
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- On a scale from 1-10, (10 is perfect) how self aware do you think you are? Explain. What would those closest to you say?
- Why is it frustrating to be in relationship with someone who doesn’t seem to understand themselves or how they come across to others?
- Read Proverbs 2:3. What does it look like to cry out for insight? Share a time a person shared an insight with you that had a positive impact on your life.
- Share two strengths and two weaknesses of your personality. Why is it important to be able to identify both?
- Read Proverbs 13:18. Why is it hard to hear criticism from others? Why is it valuable to receive correction?
- Review the sinful responses to sin. Which ones do you fall prey to most? How do these responses hold you back?
- Read Genesis 3:11-12. Adam and Eve made excuses rather than taking responsibility. Describe what a victim mentality looks like in a relationship. Describe what it looks like to take ownership in a relationship. Which one do you do more?
- Read Psalm 139:23-24. Why was this a brave prayer for David? Why does it take courage for us to identify the people and experiences that have hurt us in the past? How can this transparency help us to grow in EQ?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
Four Steps to Expressing Emotions
Understanding your emotions is only part of the battle. The next challenge is knowing how to express them.
Four Steps:
- Identify the “what” and the “why” of your feelings. Don’t be afraid to admit such emotions as anger, anxiety, sadness, or disappointment. Psalm 143:3-4, 7
- Take a time out to pray about what you’re feeling. Make a habit of bringing your emotions to God first, not as an afterthought. Psalm 143:8-11, Philippians 4:6-7
- Seek counsel from a trusted friend. Ask them for honest feedback about what you’re feeling or how to respond. Proverbs 12:15
- Make a productive plan that invites peace, first for yourself and then for others. Be intentional about following through on your plan. Isaiah 26:3, Romans 12:18
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Describe the emotional temperature in your home growing up. What did you learn about emotions from your family?
- Review Aristotle’s challenge and read Ephesians 4:29. Why is the expression of emotions so complex?
- Read Psalm 143:3-4,7. Identify all the emotions David names in these verses. Why is there power to naming how you feel?
- What are your unhealthy tendencies in expressing your emotions? How have those tendencies impacted those closest to you? According to Psalm 143:8-11 and Philippians 4:6-7, what should you do?
- Read Proverbs 12:15. Share a time when you sought counsel from someone and they helped to change your perspective. Why is it wise to seek advice from a trusted friend before acting on an emotion? What do you risk if you don’t?
- Read Isaiah 26:3 and Romans 12:18. What do you think it means to first make peace with yourself? How can we take this too far? What does it look like to make peace with others? Does peace always mean a restored relationship with someone? Explain.
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
Three Signs of Relational Health
A relationally unhealthy person is toxic to the people around them. The opposite of that is a relationally healthy person - and here's how to know if that's you.
Talking Points:
- A relationally healthy person is personally authentic. They know who they are and don’t pretend to be something they’re not. Romans 12:9-10
- A relationally healthy person has empathy for others. They’ve developed the discipline of seeing things from another person’s point of view, even when they disagree. Hebrews 12:14
- A relationally healthy person steps into healthy conflict. They bravely speak the truth in love whenever it’s helpful. Galatians 6:1, Ephesians 4:2-3
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Who is a difficult person in your life? What qualities make it hard for you to be in relationship with them?
- Think about a person in your life who you feel is fake. What clues or evidence do you have for this? How does their lack of authenticity affect your relationship with them?
- Read Romans 12:9-10. What does it look like when we’re “fake” loving someone? Describe what a genuine friend looks like.
- Define empathy in your own words. Why is recognizing another point of view important in a relationship? How does it feel when someone else doesn’t acknowledge your feelings or perspective?
- Read Hebrews 12:14-15 and Ephesians 4:2. What happens when we choose to be gracious toward someone’s faults rather than being judgmental and critical?
- Read Galatians 6:1. Share a time when you loving confronted a friend. How did it impact your relationship?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
Applying EQ in Everyday Environments
EQ measures your emotional and relational health. It’s the ability to know yourself and to empathize and understand others. Here's how it impacts your spouse, parent, co-worker, and friend.
Talking Points:
- An emotionally healthy spouse expresses their needs clearly and chooses to put the needs of their spouse above their own. Ephesians 5:25-26
- An emotionally healthy parent lovingly affirms their kids but also implements boundaries to prepare them for future independence. Matthew 3:17, Proverbs 22:6
- An emotionally healthy employee (or employer) treats others with dignity and works to unify, not divide. Ephesians 6:6, Romans 12:18
- An emotionally healthy friend walks with others authentically through life, celebrating in the good times and comforting in the hard times. Romans 12:9-10, Galatians 6:2-3
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Which of the everyday environments is hardest for you emotionally? Explain.
- If you’re married, how do you need to improve in your ability to communicate with your spouse?
- Read Ephesians 5:25-26. How did Jesus model sacrificial love for us? How does that inspire or challenge you?
- Read Proverbs 22:6. If you’re a parent, give yourself a grade on how you’re doing at affirming each of your kids. How can you improve? What are the values you want to teach your kids? How are you training them toward those values?
- Read Ephesians 6:6. Describe the environment of your workplace. Who or what contributes to an unhealthy culture? How can you be more of a positive influence there?
- Read Galatians 6:2-3. Share about a friend who has really been there for you. What can you learn from their example?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
Recommended Next: Boundaries (6-week series)
- Why Am I Always Irritable?
- What Are Boundaries In Relationships?
- Triangulation Versus Wise Counsel
- Three Signs of Relational Health
- Three Markers of a Self-Aware Person
- The Secret to Overcoming Anxiety
- The Art of Listening
- The 10 Laws Of Boundaries
- Sources of Conflict in A Christian Marriage
- Resilience and the Power of Emotions
- My Big Fat Critical Mouth
- How To Harness Your Anger for Good
- How Emotions Work
- How Do I Start a Hard Conversation?
- How Can I Stop Worrying?
- Here’s Why Gossip is Toxic
- God Wants Your EQ
- Four Steps to Expressing Emotions
- Don’t Let Bad Communication Derail Your Marriage
- Applying EQ in Everyday Environments
- Addressing Your Anger
- 3 Questions for Those Who Struggle with Unforgiveness
