Watch the video above and talk about it with a group or mentor. Learn more.
Think of a time when you encountered a “mean girl.” A mean girl is someone who seeks out drama and is seemingly never happy. This girl is searching for reasons to be upset and conflict to hold over someone’s head. Most of us would never care to find out why they are mean because we’d rather just avoid them, but investigating this gives us some insight into how to handle a mean girl.
Insecurity
The root of all of the drama that mean girls cause is insecurity. Insecurity creates the fear that if they do not create issues or scare people away, people won’t choose them as their friend, and they will feel rejected. This is the same reason they have power. The girls who follow them feel that if they don’t have someone to follow, they won’t have friends. Insecurity steals our identities and tells us that if we are not mean, or if we do not follow people that are doing wrong, we will not be accepted, and that’s simply not true.
You have power over mean girls
However, there is hope. Once you get older, the girls who once had power no longer do. This is because, as others come to realize, mean girls only have as much power as YOU give them. If you let them control you, or if you choose to follow blindly behind them to find your identity, they will continue to be difficult and stir up drama. If you choose to stray and find your identity in Christ, their power will start to go away, and you’ll be free to live the confidently in God.
Although it seems like you should be able to be mean to them like they were to you, that’s not what the Bible teaches.
Ephesians 4:32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
The Bible teaches us to be kind, and to lead by example. We are to forgive, not because someone else forgave us, but because Christ forgives us day in and day out as we continue to try to live for him the way that He desires.
Lastly, if you are a mean girl yourself, be encouraged to take a look at your heart and why you feel the need to stir up drama. You will find that if you have your identity in Christ, you will be more peaceful in who you truly are, not who you feel the need to be.
Discussion Questions:
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- Who is a “mean girl” at your school? How has she been mean to you?
- “Some girls just like drama, and the root problem is insecurity.” Explain this, and give an example of it from your school.
- “Girls give mean girls power because of their own insecurities.” Explain this, and give an example of when you’ve done it.
- How can you give mean girls power? How can you take that power away?
- Read Ephesians 4:32. How can you apply this verse at school this week?
- Do you think that anyone at your school would say that you’re a mean girl?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
