Marriage is a lifelong commitment. A decision that big should have proper preparation. Premarital counseling with a licensed professional trained in helping couples best prepare for marriage can help build a strong foundation heading into marriage.
Dating Relationships: Best Foot Forward
Six to eight sessions with someone trained to help people with premarital concerns and questions can be a tremendous benefit to any couple getting married. This type of counseling can help combat the tendency in our culture of dating and eventually marrying a total stranger. It is the consequence of a dating culture focused on concealing information instead of revealing.
When meeting new people and going out on dates, we’re putting our best foot forward and working hard to conceal those embarrassing details or traits that might scare them off. The result of this is that couples often learn more about each other in the six days of a honeymoon than they did in the months or even years of dating.
Knowing What to Ask
A qualified premarital counselor is trained to dig deeper and ask questions that go beyond what we typically like to present to each other in dating relationships. They provide the couple with questions and topics they might not have even realized they hadn’t talked about. Using sophisticated tests and inventories to really get into what makes each person tick, the counselor can often identify potential conflicts that could arise between the couple, offering suggestions on how to minimize them.
Dealing with a problem before the wedding allows the couple a chance to work on their differences with the help of the counselor, and it is better to face these issues sooner rather than later.
Identifying Strengths
Premarital counseling isn’t all about identifying potential problems, though. It is also about identifying strengths. The same tests and inventories can reveal to the couple what each of their strengths are and how their strengths can complement one another. It is just as important to know you and your spouse’s strengths as well as one another’s weaknesses.
Premarital counseling is a wonderful thing, but it is not a luxury that comes for free. For some couples, it may be just another part of the wedding expenses, but for others, it could be a bigger challenge. If you are the parents of an engaged couple, consider premarital counseling as a wedding gift that will set them up for a lifetime. You’ll be glad you did.
- What is your initial reaction to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- What are some issues that couples might avoid talking about before getting married and why?
- If you’re newly engaged, or about to be, do you plan to go through some premarital counseling? Explain.
- Read Proverbs 11:14. Why is their value in letting another person weigh in on the strengths and potential weaknesses of your relationship?
- How do you think a premarital counselor can help a couple who discovers a big problem with their relationship during their premarital counseling? What is the advantage of dealing with the problem before getting married?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
