Once your spouse acknowledges their addiction and seeks treatment, then you can start building trust back into the foundation of your marriage.
Talking Points:
- Trust is a foundation of any healthy marriage, and it’s also a reactive response. You will respond with trust when you see trustworthy actions in your spouse. In order to build trust, there needs to be full disclosure.
- Suspicion prevents connectedness, and playing detective will only make building trust harder. Read more about this in the book Shattered Vows by Debra Laaser.
- Find ways to have productive conversations and affirm each other. Present your needs and take ownership over the things you need to do better. Keep moving forward in your relationship rather than dwelling on the past.
- Forgiveness is a big piece in trust, and it’s something you choose to do. You have to give your spouse the chance to redeem themselves. Forgiveness doesn’t look back, it stays in the present. Colossians 3:12-13
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Share your thoughts regarding the definition of trust. Have you given trust to your spouse or others when they didn’t deserve it in the past? What happened?
- How have you struggled with trusting your spouse lately?
- How confident do you feel that you know the whole story behind your spouse’s past struggles? Explain.
- What are some specific behaviors you need to see exhibited in your husband’s life to know that he is fighting his addiction?
- How could having conversations that incorporate affirmation, needs, ownership and sobriety help you grow trust in your marriage?
- How could praying with your spouse help to build trust?
- Read Colossians 3:12-13. Why is forgiveness an important part of healing and building trust? What is likely to happen if you hold on to your hurts instead of working through them?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
