John Townsend says that parents (and their boundaries) are like guard rails helping to keep their teenagers on the right path.
Talking Points:
- Identity: Know your goals, values and the ultimate direction you want for your kids otherwise you’ll be tossed around by your teen’s every whim.
- Separateness: Recognize you aren’t “one” with your teen. You can’t take on their problems or their emotions. You need to train them to know how to deal with the ups and downs of life. Proverbs 22:6
- Honesty: Don’t coddle or lie to your teen. Be kind but truthful about their talents and abilities and direct them towards things best suited for them.
- Persistence: Hold the line on boundaries. Don’t let your teen’s reaction to your boundaries deter you from keeping them. Stay true to your stated expectations and consequences.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- What’s proven to be most challenging so far raising teenagers?
- What are your goals for your kids? What are the values you hope to pass on? How are you currently leading your family towards those objectives?
- How have you been guilty of being too enmeshed in your teen’s life? What are the signs to know if you’ve crossed the line to codependence?
- Read Proverbs 22:6. What are you doing to train your teens toward emotional health and future independence?
- Read Proverbs 12:19. What’s a good way to approach your teenager with a hard truth? What are the likely consequences if you fail to be truthful?
- What are your main rules for your teens right now? How are you doing at holding them accountable? How can you improve?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
Adapted from the book Boundaries with Teens by John Townsend
