As you help others pursue God, make sure you observe proper interpersonal boundaries.
Talking Points:
- Don’t mentor across genders. A discipleship relationship can generate a level of spiritual intimacy, which can eventually stimulate inappropriate feelings and connections – and possibly actions. At very least it can open the door to false accusations. That’s why it’s not ever appropriate for men to disciple women (apart from their wives) or for women to disciple men.
- Keep everything you discuss in a mentoring relationship confidential. Trust is essential to the relationship. Any breach of confidentiality will destroy that trust. However, there are some exceptions to the confidentiality rule:
- The person gives you permission to share the information with some specific other person or persons.
- The person threatens harm to himself or herself, or to harm someone else.
- The person reports knowledge of child abuse or neglect.
- The person reports an area of sin that affects others – whether it is a crime or not.
- The person reports his or her own crime to you, acting as a spiritual leader or confessor. This information is covered by clergy privilege. This means you cannot disclose it without that person’s permission.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Why is it so important to observe gender boundaries in mentoring or counseling?
- What happens in a relationship when confidentiality is breached?
- Why is confidentiality sometimes not the highest value in a given situation?
- Summarize the guidelines for when it is appropriate to break confidentiality.
- What questions do you have about boundaries in mentoring? Where will you get the answers?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
