Learn insights from the life of Abigail and how speaking the truth in love saves relationships.
Talking Points:
- Abigail means “full of joy” but we don’t know much else about her family or history. As we see in the story, she knew who David was and spoke of Israel’s history, so it seems safe to say that she was Jewish or was a foreigner who trained in a Jewish home.
- When Abigail hears about the confrontation between David and her husband Nabal, she takes action and gathers up food and supplies to bring out to David as a peace offering. 1 Samuel 25:18-19,23-25
- No matter what, we can trust that God has a bigger plan and we shouldn’t let our hurt feelings get in the way of pointing people to Jesus and seeking reconciliation every chance we get. 1 Peter 3:8-11
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Share about the family dynamics you encounter during the holidays. What’s good and what’s bad? Who are the difficult people and why?
- Read 1 Samuel 25:1-3. What does this passage tell us about Nabal? What does it tell us about Abigail? Why are these facts important to setting up the story?
- Read 1 Samuel 25:4-9. What was David’s strategy in dealing with Nabal? What was David’s request?
- Have you ever had to butter up someone before asking a favor? Explain. Why do you think flattery works on many people?
- Read 1 Samuel 25:10-11. Describe Nabal’s attitude towards David’s request. Why do you think Nabal was so unwilling to help David?
- Have you ever been surprised by someone’s negative attitude about being charitable toward a person or cause? Explain. Why is it easier to be selfish than selfless?
- Read 1 Samuel 25:12-17. Why was David so angry? What were the servant’s concerns and why did they involve Abigail?
- In your own life, what kind of situations or types of people set you off and make you angry? How have your angry responses negatively impacted your relationships in the past?
- Read 1 Samuel 25:18-19,23-25. Identify the character traits exemplified in Abigail’s actions. What was her strategy in dealing with David?
- Have you ever had to take the fall for someone else’s mistake? Explain. Why is that such a hard thing to do?
- Read 1 Samuel 25:28-32. Where was Abigail trying to get David to focus? Why do you think she mentions something about a sling and stones? (See 1 Samuel 17:32-51.) What was David’s response?
- Think about a contentious relationship in your life. What, if anything, have you done to try to make amends? What holds you back from trying harder?
- Abigail spoke the truth in love to David and it softened his heart. Think about the harder relationships in your life. Has your message been too harsh at times? Explain. How could you be more loving in your approach?
- Read 1 Peter 3:8-11. List everything this passage says we should and shouldn’t do. How does this verse challenge you as it relates to the challenging people in your life?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
