Watch the video above and talk about it with a group or mentor. Learn more.
Today we’re talking about the four types of relational connections. This comes from Dr. Henry Cloud’s book The Power of the Other. Here the 4 types:
The Loner
The loner is that person who is disconnected. They are someone who is a maverick, who isn’t really totally present or there for you.
The Toxic
The second kind of connection is a toxic person. A toxic connection is pessimistic and negative – they’re always tearing you down. Everybody has some toxic relationships in their life.
The Fake
The third type of connection I just call the fake connection. This is probably a person that you like to be around, but it’s just a “yes man” – you don’t really know what they’re thinking because they never tell you the truth to your face.
The True
The fourth kind of connection I’m just going to call the “true connection.” This is the kind of person who is authentic – this is a healthy relationship. This kind of person builds you up and strengthens you, helping you to really become a better friend, a better teammate, a better individual.
Henry Cloud’s whole point is that other people have power over us. He says we have to recognize and eliminate the loners, the toxic people, and the fake people in our lives – and we need to try to get more and more of these “true” types of connections. He calls them “Corner Four” relationships. The point is that the more of these kinds of people that you have in your life, the more successful and satisfied an individual you will be.
Discussion Questions:
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- Name a friend, family member, or teammate in each of the four categories. Which category would your friends put you in?
- How has the “loner” impacted your life in a negative way? Share an example.
- Answer the question above for the toxic person and the fake friend.
- How has your “true” connection made you a better person? Give an example.
- What practical thing can you do to seek out more true connections?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
