It can be hard for parents to adjust to the changing dynamics in the relationship with their teenagers. They are still kids that need to be trained and guided, yet they’re also becoming their own person. For as much as parents have messages they want their teens to hear, teens also have some messages they want parents to hear. From the mouths of teenagers, here are 7 things teens want their parents to hear.
#1 Admit when you’re wrong
This can be hard for parents because they’re used to doing the correcting and admonishing. But what a great teaching opportunity for parents to model a humble heart that can admit when they’ve messed up. Modeling humility speaks louder than a thousand lectures.
#2 Affirm once in awhile
It’s easy for parents to only point out the areas that need improvement but teenagers need to hear what they are doing well. Parents need to look for opportunities to praise their teenager, whether for doing something without being asked, or just complimenting who they are becoming as a person.
#3 Don’t dismiss my feelings for just being moody
Even though teenagers are known for their erratic emotions, it’s important that parents don’t dismiss all feelings for teenage drama. Teenagers are feeling real emotions that may be confusing for them. Parents need to acknowledge their feelings and help them to figure out what to do with them.
#4 Ask my opinion
Teenagers are starting to chart their own course and they want to feel like their opinion matters. They want to know that their opinion will be heard and validated, especially when decisions are being made that directly affect them.
#5 Talking is hard some times
Sometimes, teenagers need time to think before they can talk about something. Parents need to be patient and let their teenagers come to them when they’re ready to talk. Forcing the conversation only makes them shut down.
#6 Just be honest
Teenagers don’t want to be shut out of the heavy duty issues. They want parents to be honest about the situations confronting them. They don’t want to feel in the dark or out of the loop. They don’t want to be shielded from the truth but want authenticity no matter how hard it might be.
#7 Be Relatable
Even though teenagers are desperate to grow up, they’re still kids. They don’t want to be treated like little kids but they also don’t want to be treated like an adult. They’re somewhere in between. Parents have to come to the level of where their teenager is if they really want to connect.
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- As a parent, how do you feel about the 7 things mentioned? Do you feel like those are fair expectations? Explain.
- Which of the seven are the hardest for you to do as a parent?
- What steps can you take to relate to your teenager in a better way?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
